Losing a Part of You
by fyreangel5
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU. LoVe eventually. Thanks to my Beta Mary0112 and Harri B!
1. Prologue

Title: Losing a part of you

Chapter Title: Prologue  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: nothing too major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly, Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 1550  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters.

Author's Note: This idea just came to me, and I let it come. I want to try something new. I hope you like it. This is just the prologue, and then I'll get to the rest of the story. Let me know what you think.

XOXOXOXOXO

October 3rd, 2003 will always be burned into my memory. It was the day my life took a turn for the worst. You see my life used to be all butterflies, daisies, and unicorns. I had the perfect everything. Perfect parent's who loved each other, the best friends a girl could ask for, my first boyfriend/love, and the perfect town. We even had the perfect house with the little white fence outside. It was all very Brady Bunch, and I couldn't have been happier.

Here's where it all went wrong. That day My boyfriend Duncan, his sister Lilly, and her boyfriend Logan and I were spending the day at the beach. Logan and Duncan were surfing with there buddies Dick and his brother Cassidy aka The Beaver. Lilly, Madison, Meg and I were lounging out on the beach soaking up the sun. Now most people would think it's too cold to be lounging on the beach in nothing but bikini's. Lucky for us, we live in sunny California.

That night we stayed at the beach where there was a bonfire. Logan had his arm around Lilly and Duncan had his arm around me as we sat by the fire roasting marshmallows. We were all goofing off and having a great time, until I looked down at my watch and noticed I had 10 minutes to make it home before my 11 o'clock curfew. After all, I was only a sophomore, and my dad was the town sheriff, so he was protective of me. Duncan being the awesome boyfriend he was, offered to take me home. He was 16 and had his own car. That happens when your dad is a software billionaire. We said good-bye to Logan and Lilly and left.

In the car, we were talking and having a great time, until the car behind us turned on there bright lights. Duncan took his arm off of my shoulder, and I lifted my head from his shoulder. He slowed down hoping the driver would pass them, but the other vehicle just slowed down as well. He pressed on the brakes quickly to signal the guy to pass, but he never did. When the other car slowed down even more, we thought it was over. The next thing we know, the car speeds back up and rams us from behind. I yell out as I grab a firm hold on the dashboard. Duncan curses and speeds up hoping to out race the other car. He asks me if I'm ok just as the car behind us rams into us harder causing Duncan to lose control of the car. He swerves trying to gain control, but now the other car was on his side ramming us towards the guardrail that was our only protection from a 30 foot drop into the river. About a half mile in front of us was the Coronado Bridge. If we could have just made it to the bridge, we would have been ok.

Instead the other car rams into us even harder, and our car hit's the guardrail. As we hit the guardrail, the driver slows down and pushes us over the cliff. We go airborne as the view of the river gets closer and closer. All sounds stop and time slows down. Duncan reaches out and grabs my hand, trying to protect me. I hold onto his hand for dear life as my other hand stays firmly on the dashboard and my foot presses on the imaginary break petal hoping to stop the car from hitting the water. It doesn't work. The car smacks into the water and the dashboard goes up to meet my face. My world goes black as I feel Duncan's hand go slack.

I wake up and I'm shivering. My eyes take in the water that's rapidly gushing into the car. Without thinking, I look down and un fasten my seatbelt. Luckily it comes right off, and I look at Duncan. He's unconscious and the water's already up to our waists. I call out his name and shake him. He moves, but only from the force of my pushing him. He just flops around. I panic and grab at his seatbelt. I pull as hard as I can, but at that point the water's up to my elbows and my fingers are numb. I fumble with the latch, and it remains hatched.

I can feel the panic rise up in me as well as the water coming in through the windows. I try to look around outside, but all I see if water surrounding us from all angles. The only way to survive is to get Duncan out and swim to the top. But I can't seem to get him loose. I start to cry as the water comes up to my shoulders. I tilt his head back and as he's facing me, I kiss him on the lips and tell him I love him, and that I'm sorry. Then I turn to my busted window and grab a piece of broken glass. I turn to his seat belt, take a deep breath, and dive under water to his latched seatbelt. I start sawing away at the belt. At first nothing happens. But I keep at it, thankful I can hold my breath for so long. With eyes stinging, and numb fingers, I continue sawing. I get it about half way cut before I surface for more air. I look around and see the water's up to Duncan's chin. Thinking quickly, I drop the piece of glass and grab the seat belt, and yank as hard as I can.

That doesn't work so I get in front of him and bend my knees to either side of him. I look at his face and notice he's waking up. He looks into my face, and as reality starts to sink in, I see the panic start to rise in his eyes. I tell him his seatbelts stuck, but at this time he has to keep his head back in order to breath. I feel his hands over mine, and we pull as hard as we can, but it's no use. It's like it was made of steel. His arms still, and he bend his head enough to look me in the eyes. His eyes are full of determination. He tells me to go. I gape at him, and refuse. We make it out together, or not at all. He puts his hands on my waist and pushes me towards the broken window. He shouts this time for me to go. I'm crying to hard to answer him. I can see the water moving and realize he's still pulling at the seatbelt. The water has reached his mouth that's sticking straight up into the air. He takes a deep breath and ducks under water. I watch in horror as he struggles to pull the seatbelt loose. Without thinking. I take a deep breath and dive under water to look for the piece of glass. I only find it because it cuts my finger. I pick it up and start violently hacking at the seatbelt. Duncan continues to struggle, but not as strong as before. He's starting to loose air.

As hard as I can, I start sawing away at the seatbelt. Finally Duncan's movements start to slow, and panic overcomes me. I resurface for air, and notice there isn't much left. I take in a huge gulp of air, and go back under water. Duncan's eye's are starting to close. He mouths that he loves me. I respond by putting my lips on his mouth and opening it. I blow out all my air out into his mouth. I surface again for more air, and then go back under an pull as hard as I can at the strap. It finally snaps, and we both rush to the surface for air. We breathe out sighs of relief. My whole body is shaking and shivering as I try not to get hysterical. I've made it this far, all we have to do is make it out of the car and to the surface. Duncan tells me this is it. We take a deep breath, and he pushes me out of the window. When I make it through, I turn to him and notice him coming through. Once he is clear, he grabs my hand and we swim as hard and as fast as we can to the surface.

As we get closer to the top, I start to notice a white light. I think it's the moon, but it's too big, and keeps moving. I start to hallucinate and think it's the white light to Heaven. All I have to do is reach it, and everything will be ok again. I notice that my eyes are starting to get tunnel vision, and I know that can't be good. I feel one of my arms is by my side. I look down and remembered Duncan was there with me, only he isn't moving as fast as I am. He's starting to slow down. With all my might I lift up my arm holding him. I put my arm around his waist and try to swim harder. My tunnel vision starts to get smaller, as my lungs burn from lack of oxygen. I open my mouth to scream out in panic, just as my head breaks the surface. I take in a huge gulp of air, and I bob back under. I look to see what's weighing me down, and I realize it's Duncan. As I break the surface again, and try to keep both our balances, the bright light I was focused on before shines in my face. As sound floods back to me, I can hear shouting and splashing all around me. There are men in wet suits making there way towards us. I make sure Duncan's head is leaning back and out of the water. As the men reach us, they try to separate us, but I won't let go of Duncan. They fight me on this, but in the end, I won. Thankfully I didn't have to do anything else as the men did the swimming for me. But as my muscles starting to relax, exhaustion took over.

As soon as we made it to the surface, I lay down on my back and just concentrate on breathing. But being on my back like that, I start to cough and the men help me roll onto my side. As the yelling gets closer, I realize it's my father calling out to me. He reaches me and throws his arms around my shaking shoulders. This whole time my hand still stayed attached to Duncan's limp hand. I look up into my father's tear soaked face as he sobs about how he almost lost me. His words almost seem foreign to me as I fight my exhaustion. I feel a tug my the hand that's Duncan's and notice his parent's are surrounding him as his mother holds him in her arms as she's sobbing and rocking him back and forth. I look up and notice Lilly and Logan were there as well. They were staring at Duncan with tears streaming down there faces as they hug each other with all there strength. They lift there gaze and notice me staring at them. Lilly covers her mouth and runs off crying. Logan looks conflicted, but eventually follows Lilly. I lay my head back down, and finally let the tunnel vision take over as it fades to black.


	2. Chapter 1: The Aftermath

Title: Losing a part of you

Chapter Title: The aftermath  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: nothing too major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 2693  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters.

Author's Note: Thanks to Zoe90 for giving me the idea of having Duncan die instead of Lilly. So it'll sorta be AU. Obviously some events will be different, but some events will still be the same. And I've decided to add a song. It's called **Hurt** by Christina Aguilera

XOXOXOXOXO

Things only got worse from there. I was rushed to the hospital where I was treated for minor cuts and bruises. They had to take some glass out of my right elbow from when it went through the window. I had a concussion and a giant black and blue from smacking my forehead into the dashboard. Not to mention chest pains and a bruise where the seatbelt held, forcing me forward and giving me whip lash. I also had an ace bandage around my right wrist, and a band aid on my finger I sliced on the piece of glass.

That was only the physical wounds. The mental was much, much worse. My boyfriend of almost 2 years never made it out of the water. He died on the way up to the surface. I blame myself. If only I wasn't so weak and was able to unhook that damn seatbelt, then he would still be alive. The doctors disagree. They say it's because of the severe head trauma he suffered. But I know there lying and only saying that to make me feel better. Well it didn't work. I blamed myself, and I know everyone else blamed me as well. They wouldn't come right out and say it, but I knew they were thinking it. I spent that night and the afternoon in the hospital until my concussion went away. My father took time off as sheriff so he could be by my side. My mother as well.

At first they wouldn't tell me about Duncan, but I finally begged a candy stripper to tell me if he was ok. She was the one who broke the news to me. Imagine that, a freaking candy stripper! And the whole time I spent in the hospital, Lilly wouldn't come visit me. I was hoping it was because of her parent's keeping her away, and not of her own accord. Dad finally told me that Celeste and Jake Kane blamed me for Duncan's death. Dad told me they were just upset I survived and he didn't.

That afternoon as I was leaving the hospital lobby, flashes went off in my face. The paparazzi started swarming me and asking me all sorts of questions about Duncan and what happened. The only person I told my story to was my father and his officers when they officially questioned me. As I was walking from the hospital to my father's car, I felt like a criminal walking out of jail being accused of murdering there spouse.

The next day my father made me go to school and try to 'act normal'. As if that was possible. He wanted me to remain active, and that meant going to school. I didn't bother arguing. I didn't do much talking as it was.

As I walked into the building, any talking that was going on ceased to exist as everyone stopped to turn and stare at me. I barely noticed as I made my way down the hall and over to my locker. I couldn't even look at Duncan's locker. I knew it would have been turned into a shrine. Mine, however, had the word Killer spray painted on it. I just stood there in horror staring at the accusation. Tears started to well up in my eyes and my breathing turned shallow. Flashes of Duncan Kane ran through my mind sitting unconscious as I tried unsuccessfully to pry his seatbelt loose. His eyes flew open and just before the water enveloped him, he mouthed the word Killer.

I cover my mouth with my hand as the nausea takes over. I look up and as I turn around to bolt to the nearest bathroom, I notice Lilly and Logan staring at me from Logan's locker across from mine. Tears fall harder down my face as Lilly looks away. The sobs take over as I see the heartbroken look on Logan's face. He looks like he wants to say something, but Lilly takes his hand and they walk away. I bolt to the nearest bathroom, and dry heave as the sobs shake my frail form.

XOXOXOXOXO

The next few days at school only got worse as the Kane's openly blamed me for the death of there son. They even filed a suite against me. One day I decided to confront Lilly on why she was acting this way towards me. I followed Logan and Lilly to her new car, and tearfully asked her why she was doing this to me.

She turned angrily towards me and asked something else instead. "How does it feel to kill someone?"

I recoiled like someone punched me in the face, and Logan flinched. I gasped, and said, "What?"

She in turn started crying when she asked me why I couldn't save her brother.

I started to sob as I screamed at her. "I tried! I did everything I could to save him! I was willing to _die _for him! I didn't know he was dead until I was in the hospital and _some _candy stripper told me. He was alive as we made it to the surface! How was it me who killed him?" I whispered my last few words, "I thought I saved him."

A crowd started to form as they heard my outburst.

"You swear to me Veronica? You swear you tried everything you could to save him?" Lilly asked tearfully as we both tried to get ourselves under control.

"I love him! Why would I do anything but try to save him? You don't know what it was like down there. What it was like to know that at any second the water would envelop you and that would be the end? That every second you clawed your way to the surface was a step closer to Heaven? A part of me _died _that night as well. How do you think it feels to find out that the only two people I have left in this world has turned there back on me?"

Lilly wrapped her arms around me and kept apologizing. Logan took his cue and enveloped me in his strong, warm embrace. He gave me the strength I needed. As I lost control and wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed as hard as I could, he returned the gesture, by wrapping his strong arms around my barely there stomach. The crowd dispersed when they realized the fight was over.

"I'm sorry Veronica. For once I actually listened to Celeste and her BS. When I saw my brother lying there, I just knew he was gone, and I couldn't do anything to change that. I panicked and ran away. Then Celeste pranced around the house and with her lawyers about how you deliberately didn't try to save him. That you had the chance to save him, and you didn't. He's my brother, and now he's gone. Now I don't have anyone to support me at home when things go wrong."

"You have me Lilly! And I need you now more than ever! Just because he's gone, doesn't mean we should turn on each other! I was your best friend before I was his girlfriend."

XOXOXOXOXO

The next day they let class out early to attend his funeral. Lilly didn't go to school that day and went to the church with her parents. Logan stayed with me all day, and when it came time to enter the church, he grabbed my hand and held on tight. I turn and give him a teary eyed smile of thanks. We walk into the church and take a seat behind the Kanes. I freeze hoping they won't notice me. Luckily, they don't. The moment I broke was when they carried the casket down the isle. Logan wraps his arm around my shoulders and squeezes. The ceremony began.

Later, when they gave the eulogies, and had people say something nice about him, I continued to sob into my handkerchief Logan had handed me. Then Lilly stepped up there.

"As you all know my brother Duncan and I are only a year apart. But in some ways we were more like twins. We understood each other the way no one else in our family did. Growing up in a house of wealthy people can be very isolating. Having each other was the easiest way to work through any problems we ever had. I often joked about how _dull _and _boring _he was. Even calling him Donut. But in truth, he was my best friend. And now he's gone. And my family are shunning my other one true best friend in this world." It gets harder for her to talk through her tears. "But she helped me realize that it's not always easier to push people away. That it is in fact better to pull those people in closer and cherish them more. Because you never know when they'll leave you." Lilly's voice broke as the tears fell harder. "I love you Donut, and I'll miss you more than you'll ever know. And don't worry, I'll look over her for you." She kissed her fingers and held them to her heart as she looked towards the sky.

Afterwards when we were outside the church, Lilly wraps her arms around me and jokes about her speech. I told her how touched I was and that I love her more for it. She can now think of me as her baby sister.

As we all arrived at the cemetery and huddled around the gravestone, the pain elevated. Because now it was official. In about a half hour, he would be put in the ground forever. We all cried harder as the priest made another speech. This time my father has his arms around me as Logan was supporting Lilly, but never looking away from me. I was even surprised when all the 09ers shed some tears.

Afterwards when we all took flowers, and threw them on the casket, Celeste had finally had enough. "You bitch! How could you? You killed my son!" She slapped me hard across the face.

I nearly fell to the ground, if it wasn't for Dick standing near by and catching me. My father stepped in front of her, and put a warning hand up. He turned to me and said it was time to go. Thanks to Celeste I wouldn't be going to the Kane's house with everyone else. Instead I had my father drop me off at the beach, where we had our bonfire that night.

I sat on the log and had my own ceremony.

if only I knew what I know today

"Is this log taken?"

I look up and do a double take as I notice Duncan standing over me. I slide over and he sits down beside me. He smiles at me and I break out into a huge smile as I throw my arms around him. I settle into his arms and notice the fire is lit, and it's night time. Just like the last time I saw him.

I would hold you in my arms

"How is this even possible? I thought you left me."

His arms squeeze me tighter. "I could never leave you. You're the love of my life. I'm not going anywhere. I will always be here for you. No matter what."

there's nothing I wanna do  
to hear your voice again

I smile as I stare into the fire thinking how nice and cozy it is. With the warmth of the fire on my front side and the warmth of his body on my back side. I didn't realize how much I missed the sound of his voice until now. The deep rumble I hear from leaning my head against his chest.

"What's gonna happen now?"_  
_

"You go on living your life."

sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

"I can't do that with you gone!" I can feel the tears starting to develop. I just don't know how to go on living with him gone from my life so suddenly.

somedays I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss  
you know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

"Veronica, you need to move on with your life. I love you. That's never going to change. But I'm no longer among the living. You need to wake up and join those who are alive."

I shake my head stubbornly. "I can't do that. It's not fair! Why Duncan, why? Why did you have to leave me like that? Why couldn't you have just held on for another minute? We made it to the surface. Why did you give up on me?" The tears fall as I try to make sense of that night.

would you tell me I was wrong?  
would you help me understand?

"I'm sorry Veronica. And it's not your fault. You did everything you could. Don't beat yourself up over something you couldn't prevent. It was my time to go. You need to start moving on."

"How? I don't think I'm strong enough. I'm a mess. I can't even go five minutes without crying. I feel so weak, and hollow. I'm ashamed of myself."

are you looking down upon me?  
are you proud of who I am?

"Veronica Mars, I'm proud of you. Why do you think I loved you? Because you were weak? No, I loved you because you were strong. And innocent. You lived life to the fullest and took everything in stride. Nothing got you down."

there's nothing I want to do  
to have just one more chance  
to look into your eyes and see you looking back

"I just wish I had another chance. I would change it. I would have never been at the bon fire if it meant losing you. I would take it all back, just to spend another day with you!"

if I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that  
I've missed you since you've been away 

"Don't you get it? You are spending another day with me. I'm here now aren't I?"

I shake my head no. "It's not the same. Your not really here. Your just in my head!" I pull back from him and look at him. "Your not really here!"

As I realize it, he starts to fade away.

"No, wait! I take it back! Your hear with me! Wait, come back! Don't leave me!"

"I love you Veronica!" Is whispered in the wind as the sobs take control.

"Veronica?"

I open my eyes as I hear my name being called repeatedly. I see the fire pit in front of me, and realize the fires out. No wait, it hasn't been lit since a few nights ago. And it's not dark out anymore, the suns still up.

I turn my head to the side as I realize someone's sitting next to me. I see Logan looking at me with tears in his eyes. He explains how he heard me crying out to Duncan. At the mention of his names, my body starts to shake as I cry for the thousandth time that day. He wraps his arms around me as I sob into his arms. He rocks me back and forth as I try to control myself. When I finally do, I ask him if it'll ever get easier. He was silent for a minute, but that replied that he hoped so.

I sit up and ask him how he got here. He said he couldn't take it at the Kane house anymore, so he had his mom drop him off here so he could remember Duncan for who he really was, and for the last time he saw him happy.

We spent hours sharing our best memories of Duncan until the sun went down and we were exhausted. He used his cell phone to call my father, who came to pick us up and bring us home.


	3. Chapter 2: End of the Year Party

Title: Losing A Part Of You  
Chapter Title: End of the Year Party  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: nothing too major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.  
Word Count: 2535  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters. Thanks to my wonderful Beta Mary0112  
Author's Note: Thank you for all the feedback! And **jotajota15**, didn't mean to confuse you, I just meant it as her not eating much anymore, so she lost weight. So by her being too skinny to begin with, she was even skinnier now. As for what happens to Veronica at the party, It has a new twist as to who did it, that will be revealed in later chapters. Enjoy! And Happy Holidays!

XOXOXOXOXO

The next few weeks were not any better thanks to Celeste Kane. She held a town meeting and had everyone vote my father out of office. She convinced everyone that it was my fault that her son was gone therefore, the real problem lies in the parent. She blamed him by saying he didn't respond to the scene of the crime in time, and if they had the right people for the job, this would have never happened. Since she's rich and powerful, she won. My father was no longer Sheriff.

Now that the parent's of Neptune were against us, it made it easier for everyone in school to hate me more. The taunting and teasing just got worse. If it wasn't for Lilly and Logan, I would have stopped going to school altogether. It didn't help that the staff turned a deaf ear on everything.

Being in school was the hardest, but being home was starting to become just as bad. My mother and father would constantly be fighting. My father was taking my side and doing everything he could to protect me even if that meant losing his job. My mother hated having everyone turn their back on her. She was no longer welcome in the inner circle. She wanted to pack up and move away. My father wanted to stay and fight them head on. I just wanted everything to stop. None of this would be happening if Duncan hadn't taken me home that night.

It was now December 3rd, two months after the incident. I was grieving by spending my time at Logan's house with him and Lilly. I spent just about all my time at Logan's. I didn't want to go home, and I wasn't welcome at the Kane's. Lynn still loved me as much as she always did, and stuck by my side. 

The three of us were lounging out in the pool house where we spent all our free time. Lilly was trying to convince me to go to an 09er party at Shelly Pomroy's house. I kept refusing. She told me I needed to stick up for myself, and what better way would there be but to crash one of their parties. She swore her and Logan would never leave my side. I should remember, there's no resisting Lilly's charm. In the end, I agreed.

The day of the party, I told my father I was spending the night at Meg Manning's house. My father was pleased that I still had friends and was happy to let me spend the night. Instead I drove to Logan's house. Lilly and I got ready in one of the guest rooms. Lynn let me borrow one of Trina's dresses. She said Trina wouldn't mind, because she was away at boarding school, and wouldn't even notice.

I picked out a simple white dress. Lilly laughed and asked if I was trying to go for innocence. I just smiled and watched as she put on her black mini skirt with a red tank top with the word naughty across her chest.

XOXOXOXOXO

Lilly had her right arm in my left, and Logan had his left in my right as the three of us walked into the back of Shelly's house. All around us 09er's were giving me dirty looks and calling out nasty remarks. There were times where I almost stopped and turned around but Lilly and Logan's grip on me kept me moving forward.

At the end of the line, Dick handed out drinks to us. I took a big gulp to try to calm my nerves, and almost spit it back out as I realized it was rum and coke. The rum ran down my throat and helped calm my nerves, as the coke stopped it from actually burning. I downed the rest of it as Dick looked on in appreciation and handed me another drink.

Dick pulled Logan aside to talk to him, and Madison pulled Lilly aside to talk to her. Not knowing what else to do, I kept walking forward. When my second drink was finished, another magically appeared in my hand. I've never been one to drink, so my vision was starting to get fuzzy. I finally looked around to take in my surroundings, and noticed I was by the pool. The stars and moon lights were blending into big bright blobs, and I started to get dizzy. I stumbled over to the lawn chair, and hurriedly sank down onto it. My dizziness started to stop as I stared up at the night sky. My vision only got darker as I realized I was about to pass out.

XOXOXOXOXO

I opened my eyes, and tried to sit up. A wave of dizziness rammed into me, and I fell back down. I pulled my arm over my eyes to try and stop my spinning head. When the spinning stopped, I opened my eyes again. They were feeling grainy, and the morning light gave me a killer headache. Morning light? When did it become light out? Where am I? Being careful, I sat up in bed. I cradled my head in my hands to try and alleviate the pain. I looked around me, and realized I wasn't home in my own bed nursing a killer hangover. In fact, I've never seen this room before.

Very slowly, and carefully I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat there looking at my feet, wondering where my shoes were. Something white caught my attention. Bending down slowly and picking the object up, I realized in horror that they were my underwear.

As the nausea started taking over, the pain in my body followed. I brought my hand up to my thighs and under my dress. My thighs were tender and I could see bruises already formed. My hand came back with dried blood and something else. My tears fell and landed on my bruised thighs as the realization sank in. I curled up into a ball and cried myself dry. Combine my hangover with the pain of my body, the crying just made it worse.

After what felt like hours later, I was able to stand up. I walked over to the bathroom and searched the medicine cabinet for aspirin. After downing four of them, I turned back around and found my shoes. I picked them up and walked outside towards my car. I stopped short when I noticed someone wrote SLUT on my windshield. Humiliated, I walk to the Sheriff's Department. I'm almost thankful my father isn't the sheriff anymore, until I actually talk to the new sheriff. Sheriff Lamb. He takes in my appearance, and all but laughs at me, He wanted to know if he should round up all the rich kids in the town, and told me to go see the wizard to ask for a backbone. He even had a nerve to look surprised when tears rolled down my cheeks.

Not knowing what else to do, or where to go, I walk back to my car, and drive to Logan's house. At the gate, someone asks me who it is. I let them know, and they buzz me in. When I get to the end of the driveway, I make sure I park the car so no one can see the writing.

Not wanting anyone to see my appearance, I look into the mirror and try to clean myself up. I find a tissue in the glove compartment, and wipe at the mascara that ran down my face. There is nothing I can do about my broken strap, so I tuck it in along with the other strap. That way it looks strapless. Then I run my hands through my hair, and try not to cry out as my fingers snag on the knots. I get out of the car and put on my shoes.

Wobbly, I make my way to the front door, where Lynn answers it.

"Veronica, hi."

I give her a shaky smile. "Hi Mrs. Echolls. Is Logan home?"

"Please sweetie, call me Lynn." She opens the door wider, and motions me inside. She's eyeing me like she knows something's wrong, but not quite sure what. "He's still sleeping, but why don't you go wake him up. And let him know breakfast will be ready in a half hour. Why don't you join us dear?"

I thank her and tell her I would then I make my way carefully up the stairs. About halfway up, I stop and take off my shoes. They hurt too much to be walking uphill with them on. I make it to his door and knock softly. When no one answers, I take a deep breath, and open the door.

Logan's still sleeping in bed, and I let out a shaky sob. It's the most beautiful site I've seen in the last 24 hours. I walk up to the bed, and lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. He was sleeping on his back, with his head facing the other way. At first he doesn't reply, so I shake him harder. He lets out a moan and turns his head the other way. Now he's facing me. My legs are shaking, and about to give out under me, so I sit down on the edge of the bed, as the tears start to flow. I bite my lip so as not to cry out.

Not knowing what else to do, and not wanting to wake him, I crawl over his body, and lay down in his bed. I crawl under the covers, and shape my body to his. He responds by turning his head back towards me, and wrapping his arm around my waist. He holds on tightly. Then he lifts his head and puts it on my shoulder, and then he takes his right leg and drapes it over mine. Loving the warmth and security of his embrace, I feel myself drifting off.

"Logan honey, breakfast is…." Lynn stops short as she sees Logan and Veronica asleep in her son's bed. She smile's secretly, and leave's them alone.

XOXOXOXOXO

My eyes open, and I feel myself start to wake up. Knowing something is wrong, I look around to find out what that something is. It hits me like a ton of bricks. Logan is no longer lying beside me. I'm all alone in his room, and the last few hours come slamming into me. I put my hand up to my mouth to stop the great big sob over taking my small frame as the tears once again make there way down my cheeks. My head doesn't hurt as much, but my body is still physically aching. Feeling the loss of Logan, I feel the loss of Duncan, as well as the loss of my virginity; my innocence.

The door opens, and in walks Logan with a tray of food. He stops short when he takes in my appearance. Then he walks over to the bed and puts the tray down on the floor. He scoots over more on the bed, and leans in and wraps his strong arms around me. I continue to sob into his arms as the pain starts to slowly lesson, as well as my tears.

When my tears finally stop, I pull back, and he takes in my appearance.

"What the hell happened Veronica? Where did you go last night?"

I look at him funny. "I don't know. I can't remember anything about last night."

Logan looks furious, but not at me. He's still gentle with me. "What do you mean you don't remember? What's the last thing you do remember?"

I look him in the eyes, and side step his question. "What happened to you and Lilly last night? What happened to sticking to my side all night?"

"When Dick pulled me away, I tried to get back to you. But when I turned around, you and Lilly were both gone. I thought the two of you were together, so I hung out with the guys for a while. Later when Lilly came up to me without you, we looked everywhere for you. Finally, someone said they saw you leave with Meg Manning. We knew Meg would take care of you, so we left and came here to the pool house. She left just before it got dark out, and I made my way up here, and woke up with you in my bed. Did you leave with Meg last night?"

My eyes tear up once again as I shake my head no. "I woke up, and I was still at Shelly's. I had a bad hangover and no memory of how I ended up in her spare bedroom."

Logan grabs onto my shoulders firmly as he looks me in the eye. "What happened Veronica?"

My voice catches. "I woke up searching for my underwear." A few tears escape.

Logan looks like someone slapped him, as he continues to gape at me. "You…your under…oh my god, Veronica!" He finally gets it. I look away as I try to cover myself with his blanket. As if that would stop the feelings.

Logan surprises me by getting up off of the bed. I watch curiously as he walks up to his dresser and starts going through his things. He pulls some clothes out, and turns to me. He walks over to me and hands me the clothes. "Change" is all he says to me, as he leaves the room.

I stare dumbfounded at the clothes in my hands. Then slowly, I get out of bed and take off my dress. Not wanting to look at myself, I slip on the sweatpants and t-shirt he handed me, then slipped on his socks. Of course his clothes were two times too big for me, but that just made me feel more secured. I walk into Logan's bathroom, and use his brush to comb out my hair. Then I splash water on my face, and wash it with soap.

Feeling better, I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen where Logan is talking quietly to his mother. They stop talking and look over at me. They both get up from the isle counter, and Lynn wraps her arms around me. She whispers that she's here for me, and she'll do everything she can to find the guy and make him pay.

Logan takes my hand and walks me to the front door. He hands me a pair of his shoes and I slip them on. Then we walk out to his car, and he drives me to see his doctor.

At the doctor's office, I fill out all the paper work, and Logan make's sure it's all paid for. The doctor sees me, and asks me all these personal questions about last night. Most of them I can't even answer. Then he takes samples of the blood and semen. He examines me, and then prescribes me with the morning after pill.

Afterwards, Logan takes me back to his house where we curl up on the couch and watch movies all day, until I finally decide it's time to go back home.


	4. Chaoter 3: Christmas Surprise

Title: Losing a part of you

Chapter Title: Christmas Surprise  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: nothing too major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 2480  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters. Thanks to my wonderful Beta Mary0112

Author's Note: Someone actually asked me why I didn't include Lilly in the last chapter about finding out what happened to Veronica, and honestly, I forgot about her! Horrible I know, but I was so focused on LoVe, that it just sorta slipped my mind. Lol I'll make up for it and include her in this chapter.

XOXOXOXOXO

When I got home, my parents were once again arguing, so I snuck into the kitchen and got some glass cleaner and paper towels. I went outside and scrubbed at my windshield to get the word 'slut' off. I then went inside and yelled out that I was home. Dad asked how it went at Meg's house and if I was hungry. I told him it went fine and we had just eaten. I excused myself and proceeded to lock myself in my room as I dialed Lilly's number.

She informed me that she just got off the phone with Logan, and that he told her everything. She was mad that we didn't tell her sooner, but she was more worried about me. I told her I was ok, because I spent it with people who cared for me. She did her best to help me feel better by changing the subject. She wanted to know what I was doing for Christmas, and then gave a long list of what she wanted me to get her this year. I laughed and felt better than I have in months.

The next day at school, everyone was snickering and pointing at me. Having an idea of why, I did my best to ignore them. Thankfully, they weren't as out right nasty as they have been. I think this is because Lilly is walking around threatening to not be anyone's friend anymore, and spreading everyone's secrets around the school. Logan just went around slamming everyone into lockers and giving them that dirty look he perfected.

When I got home that day, my mother was in the kitchen on the phone crying. My father was in the living room going through things and putting them into boxes. Not knowing what was going on, I asked him about it. He looked at me and I could see his eyes glistening. He sat me down on the couch and informed me that with the loss of his job, and Celeste being who she is, no one was willing to hire him. Collecting unemployment wasn't enough, and they had to sell the house.

Shocked by the news, I sat there and stared at him. Just when I thought things were getting better, they were still getting worse. Finally, I asked my dad where we were going to live, and he said with the money from the house, we were going to move into the 90902 area and that he was going to open up his own business. He already had his office area picked out. Not knowing what else to think, I asked what business he was opening up. He told me he was going to be a private dick. A dick of all things!

Dad went back to packing boxes, and I went upstairs and called Lilly.

In the next few weeks, the house was put on the market, and then sold. The Mackenzie's had bought the house, and we had until January to pack up and leave. That really put a damper on Christmas. Logan and Lilly did their best to comfort me. I tried not to think this was the worst thing that has ever happened to us. I mean, I have been through so much already, what was the big deal about moving? Who knows, maybe moving is a good thing. A fresh start to my new life. Yes, I was a big believer in denial.

Also, the doctor had called me and told me that the blood was mine, and they confirmed that I was indeed raped, but they had no record of who the semen belonged to. So now I know that I was officially raped, but now I had no way of knowing who did it.

My sleeping patterns were still off. Every night I still had nightmares of being in the water, but add to that, pictures of a faceless guy raping me, and I can pretty much guarantee I haven't been sleeping much. Though, I have been eating better.

I also made it a habit to visit Duncan's grave site everyday. I would lean against his headstone and tell tales. I would tell stories of times when we were happy and in love. I would make up stories to tell him how happy I was now. Even though I knew he knew I was lying. I don't know why I felt the need to lie to him. It's not like he didn't already know what was going on with me, I guess I just didn't want to face it. I still wanted everything to be perfect between us.

On Christmas Eve, Lilly came over and giddily told me she had a secret. A really good one. I begged to know what it was, but she refused to tell me. I asked if Logan knew, but she said he didn't. I asked if it was about some guy, and she just laughed and said what else it would be about. Reluctantly, I had to drop the subject because Logan showed up.

Later, we exchanged gifts. Lilly got me a really pretty pendant. Inside was a picture of me, and on the other a picture of Duncan. On the back it said DuVe 4ever. I cried and cried as I threw my arms around her and almost knocked her over. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed. Logan exclaimed out loud that he felt left out. So laughingly, we all wrapped our arms around each other and squeezed, and pinched, and squealed as tickling started going on as well. We stopped, and Lilly opened my gift to her. It was another piece for her charm bracelet I got her the first Christmas we became friends. Each charm was significant for each event we've been through our whole lives. This year I got her a heart. She added it to her bracelet.

I didn't know how to express to Logan what he's done for me, and what he means to me, so I did what I knew best. I made a scrap book of the four of us together, and then of just pictures of he and I and what our friendship means to me. He seemed to really be touched, and got speechless as he flipped through each page. He even got teary eyed as he looked at how much the four of us meant to each other, and thinking about how we've all been tested. Afterwards, he wrapped his arms around me and told me he loved me. I told him I loved him as well and I don't know what I would do without him. Lilly got sentimental as well, and threw her arms around me. We all laughed and cried again as we hugged each other.

I was surprised by what Logan gave me. He bought me a plane ticket to Maui! He explained that they were for the three of us, and that we were going to have the best damn week ever in paradise. The hugging started all over again. Then I stood up and ran into my parent's room and waved the plane tickets in their faces as I danced excitedly. My mother was happy for us, and my father was concerned about me leaving him and spending a week being un-chaperoned in Maui. I explained that Logan's parents would be in the Villa next to ours, so there would still be adult supervision. Finally he agreed to let me go. We were leaving two days after Christmas, and be back on January 2nd.

XOXOXOXOXO

Two days after Christmas, I hugged my parents at the airport just as our plane was boarding. It was just me, Lilly and Logan taking the plane today. Logan's parents had left last night. My father was still nervous, but I was excited to be leaving California alone with my two best friends. This was going to be the best vacation ever. I made sure to always think about Duncan, and what he would do while on vacation with us, but I wasn't going to let it take over my life. I was trying my best to move on, but not forget about the love of my life. I was finally happy, and I wanted to keep it that way.

On the plane I had the window seat, and Lilly had the isle seat. She explained to me before we got on the plane that it was so she had easier access to the hot guys on the plane. I just shook my head and tried not to think about what she's always doing to Logan, and how he can stand to be second rate all the time.

The captain came on and then the stewardess explained safety precautions in case there was ever an emergency. When we finally took off, I was excited to watch the plane lift off of the ground. I have never been on a plane before, so this was a new experience to me.

The flight itself wasn't too bad. It was about six hours, and time went by pretty quickly. Lilly kept things interesting by flirting with every guy within a mile radius. It didn't matter if they were in their teens, or thirty and sitting with their wife and kids. Everyone got a kick out of it. Except of course for Logan. Oh sure, he played if off like it was no big deal, but I knew better. I tried my best to distract him, but really, what can I do? It's not like I'm his girlfriend or anything. I'm only the best friend. There is a limit to what I can actually do. He seemed to be grateful for the distraction I was providing which, by the way was taking out my camera and having the three of us goof off as much as possible for the camera.

We ignored the movie that was playing, and tried playing go fish on our trays. It was hard to do, but we managed. About three hours into our flight, the stewardess came around for refills of our sodas, and handed us complimentary peanuts, and a sandwich. The sandwich, surprisingly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was edible, and actually tasted like ham.

Three more hours later, and we were all fastened into our seatbelts as the captain announced our descent towards the airport. I got a little nervous, never actually making a landing on a plane before. Without realizing it, I gripped the armrest until my knuckles turned white, and then jumped a foot in the air when the armrest squeezed back. Looking down, I see a hand gripping mine. I look up, and notice Logan staring at me. He gave me a reassuring smile, and I smiled back before I resumed looking out the window. Just as the wheels hit the runway, and I felt us bounce onto one wheel, I threw myself into Logan's arms with an embarrassing squeal. He laughed and wrapped the arm I wasn't holding on the armrest, around my shoulders.

When the plane came to a complete stop, only then did I peak out at my surroundings. No oxygen masks hanging from the ceiling, no luggage strewn about everywhere, and no screaming people. Only when I heard the rumbling in Logan's chest, did I look up and notice him laughing at me. I pulled back in embarrassment, and slapped him playfully. He only laughed harder as he got up and retrieved his luggage like Lilly was doing.

As we walked off the plane, we followed everyone to the baggage claim. Once we all had our luggage, we looked around for our ride. Not seeing the Echolls, I looked at Logan questioningly. He shrugged it off, and Lilly noticed some guy in a tux holding a sign that said Logan Echolls. We walked up to him, and he led us to the stretch limo parked out front. He loaded the entire luggage into the trunk as I stared around me at my surroundings. Granted, it was only the airport, but it was the most beautiful airport I have ever seen. The sky was beautiful, the sun smiled as it beat upon us lending us its warmth. All the colors were bursting. I was distracted until Lilly pulled me into the limo.

Inside the limo, we turned on the radio, and poured ourselves some drinks. There was no alcohol, but there was club soda. We just pretended it was vodka as we made toasts, and goofed around like we were famous celebrities riding around in limos waiting for our adoring public to greet us. Lilly opened the sun roof and stood up. She grabbed my arm, and I grabbed Logan's. Together, we all barely fit through, but we raised our glasses in a toast as we yelled and hollered out of the roof. The surrounding town really was breath taking, and I was having the time of my life.

As we were stopped at a light, a convertible with its top down, stopped beside us, and Lilly yelled out to the guys. They turned to us, and saluted us, and called out to us. I couldn't believe it. It was Leonardo Dicaprio, and Tobey Mcguire! Leo called out where we were going, and Lilly told them where. They surprised me even more by saying that's where they were staying, and for us to look for them later.

Beyond shock, I sank back down in my seat. Logan followed with a frown on his face, and Lilly followed with a dreamy look on hers. She looked at me, and we broke out into giggles.

When we arrived at the Villa, and I stepped outside, I felt like I stepped outside of reality and onto a movie set because that's exactly what it looked like. It looks exactly like paradise looks like on TV. Logan stepped up beside me and asked me what I thought. Speechless, I turned and threw my arms around his neck. There were no words to express how I felt. To express what exactly he's done for me. He squeezed me understandingly.

The limo guy took care of our luggage, so we walked to the Villa Logan's parents were staying at and knocked. Lynn answered the door in a bikini, and a martini glass in one hand. She swept Logan up into a hug, and exclaimed she was just on her way to the beach, which by the way, was like a foot from where we were standing. She told us to suit up, and meet us there. Lynn handed us the keys, and we ran to our place and changed as quickly as possible.

We spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It truly was paradise.

XOXOXOXOXO

Cheesy I know, but I couldn't help it! Don't worry, next chapter should have more angst, but not too much. I've never been to Maui and don't know if there are 'Villas', but I liked the word.


	5. Chapter 4: The Bonfire

You know how I said the day was like paradise? Well that night was the complete opposite. Let me set the mood for you. The moon was full, the stars were twinkling, and the fire was roaring. Everyone was sitting around the bonfire cuddling together, while I sat with my arms around my knees and Logan's arm on my shoulder. Logan was comforting me, because Lilly was no where to be found. I was trying my hardest to keep my emotions in line, but it was too hard. Everything about this night was screaming déjà vu to the last time I was with Duncan.

With my head swimming in Duncan land, I couldn't take it anymore. The tears were threatening to come. I bolted up, and ran for our villa. When I got to the door, I stopped to steady my breathing. Then I opened the door and as I stepped inside, my foot stopped in mid stride, and my jaw fell open. The site in front of me shocks me to the core. Lilly had her back on the wall, and her legs wrapped around a naked behind. Her arms were roaming everywhere, and she was moaning. The guy had his back to me, so I couldn't tell who it was. But Lilly answered that question for me.

"Oh, Mr. Echolls, harder!"

Mr. Echolls!?! Twirling around as fast as I could, I closed the door as softly as I could, and leaned my back against the door, trying to steady my breathing. The tears burned as they streaked down my cheeks. I could still hear them behind me, so I clumsily stepped away from the door. I didn't know where else to go. I couldn't go to my room, and I couldn't go back to the bonfire. My legs shook as I took a few steps, and then collapsed under me. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and look up at Logan as he asks me if I'm ok. I shake my head no, and he helps me to my feet.

He asks me if I would like to go for a walk, and gratefully, I say yes. He turns around and tells me to get on his shoulders. I hop on and he grabs my legs and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. He walks down to the bonfire, but then takes a right. He walks down the beach with the water lapping at his bear feet. I sigh and lean my head against his. Staring out at the water, he surprises me by asking me what I was thinking about.

Not knowing what to say, I tell him that I was just marveling over how beautiful it was here, and that I wished Duncan were here to enjoy it. Logan nodded, and went back to being quite.

A few more steps and he tells me I'm getting to heavy. He puts me down and asks me if I'm ok to walk. I tell him yes, but loop my arm through his. I need that extra support at the moment.

"Veronica I want to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me." I stiffened as he asked me this. I had a pretty good idea what was coming next. I mumbled ok, and he continued.

"I saw you run off to our villa, and when I followed you, you were leaning against the door like you couldn't bear seeing what you just saw. Now, I want you to tell me who Lilly was in there with."

I looked at him in shock. He told me he wasn't an idiot. She had been missing all night, and he knows she likes to sneak around. I looked away, and refused to answer him. There was no way in hell I was going to tell him who she was with.

He stopped walking and stood in front of me. "Look at me."

My eyes traveled up his chest and rested on his neck. I saw his hand point up, so I looked at his chin. I saw his lips part, so my eyes watched in fascination. I blamed the moon for being full and highlighting his features. He licked his lips, and cleared his throat. My eyes finally finished their journey and landed on his eyes. They burned holes into the back of my head.

"Who?" Was all he managed to say.

The tears welled up in my eyes, and I bit my bottom lip, while trying to breath through my nose. His eyes begged me. My mouth opened, and as the words about slipped out, I saw Lilly and Logan's father together again. He looked anxious knowing I was about to spill, so I slapped my hand over my mouth, and ran as the sobs escaped.

Inside, I was furiously blaming Duncan for Lilly's behavior. I knew it wasn't his fault, but I felt like he was able to control things from up above. Like he would somehow be able to stop his sister from cheating.

Logan had longer legs than me, so he was able to catch me. He grabbed my arm and came to a stop. He pulled me down so I was sitting on the beach. He straddled my legs and pinned my arms to my side so I wasn't able to escape this time. He tugged my chin so I was once again looking him in the eye, and all but screamed.

"Who is it? Tell me!"

I bit my lip, and steeled myself. This was one thing I couldn't tell Logan. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't do it. More than his feelings were at stake. There was his mother, and Lilly's family. Not to mention, myself. Logan was better off not knowing what a scumbag his father really was. And Lilly, for being so in love with guys, needed to end it with Logan once and for all.

Logan looked defeated, and sank off of me.

"I'm sorry."

It was the only thing I could manage to think of. Tears were still rolling down my face, as the waves lapped at my bare feet. So I pulled them up to as close to my chest as they could go, and wrapped my arms around them. I buried my face in my knees just as I see him running his hands through his hair in defeat.

We sat like that for what felt like hours. I sighed in content when I felt him wrap his arms around my back. I turned into him and wrapped my arms around his waist, and buried my face into his neck. I kept breathing out that I was sorry, and he reciprocated by laying me down gently in the sand. He laid down on top of me, but supported himself up with his arms. His eyes did what they normally do, as they burned into me, causing me to shiver.

Finally, he sank down, and as light as day, placed his lips on top of mine. Then he pulled back, and got this evil glint in his eyes as he started to smirk. Not knowing what he was going to do next, he lowered his head back down and, licked my cheek.

My eyes flew open, and turned to face the wet tongue of a dog licking my face. I scrambled up to a sitting position, and noticed a golden retriever smiling at me. I wipe my face, and feel my hair is soaked and stringy. Looking down I see that my legs and my back are soaking wet from the ocean lapping up onto me every time the waves wash up onto the shore. I scrambled up as fast as I could, and backed away. I turn back towards our villa, and start jogging. Logan was no where to be found, and besides this dog who was following me, there was no one around. I hear a whistle, and turn to see there is in fact someone else. It's the dog's owner, and the dog stopped and went to the owner.

I kept running until I noticed a figure sitting alone on the beach with the water lapping at his feet. As I got closer, I realized it was indeed Logan. I came to a stop, and plopped down next to him. I picked up his empty bottle of Jack Daniels, and absently toyed with it as I stared out at the ocean as well.

"You left me." I tell him.

Out of the corner of my eye I see him shrugging. I asked him why, but he wouldn't answer. So I asked him what happened. What did he do when he left me all alone in the middle of no where, where the ocean was trying to sweep me away.

He told me he went back to the party and got his friend JD. I look down at the bottle still in my hand, and finally realized he drank the whole thing. He must have been at it all night. I asked if he ran into Lilly. He scoffed and said he arrived just in time to see her on a guys lap. He laughed bitterly, and mumbled that at least if she was going to cheat, it was with someone famous.

My body stiffened, and I froze. It can't be? Lilly wouldn't be that stupid would she? She wouldn't dare flirt with Aaron out in the open? Not with his own wife near by?

I took a deep breath, and asked who it was. He said that Leo guy, and I sighed in relief. He looked at me for a while, and asked me if that was the guy she was with last night. I wouldn't face him or answer him. Then, as if noticing for the first time, he sat up straight and asked me why I was wet. I finally faced him, and tearfully told him it was because he left me! Again, he just shrugged.

I threw the bottle aside, and stood up. With what little strength I had left, I managed to pull him up to his feet. He swayed a lot, but between the two of us, we managed to make it back to our villa. I noticed he had sat a good distance away from the bonfire.

When we finally made it to the door, I put my hand on the door knob, and hesitated. Would Lilly really bring a guy into the room? I realized for the first time that I really didn't know Lilly at all. I had no idea what she was capable of, and that scared me.

Logan noticed I hesitated, and threw the door open. We walked in, and thankfully, she was asleep by herself in the bed she and Logan shared. I walked him into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Then I sat in the chair in front of Lilly's bed, and just watched her sleep. Thinking about all the mean things she's done over the course of our relationship, and the effects they've had on the people.

When the shower shut off, Logan came out in nothing but a towel. He was still dripping, and the water clung to him. I stared in fascination, as he walked over to his dresser and grabbed some clothes. I couldn't believe the way I was reacting. I've seen Logan without shirts before, and I've seen him wet. But for some reason, today was different. I blushed as he caught me staring, and gave me that grin he uses to say, he knows he's the shit.

He walked back into the bathroom, and for the first time I realized I had no idea what I was going to do when I showered and he was left out here all by himself with Lilly. I didn't want them to start arguing yet.

Before I could decide, the bathroom door opened and Logan came out in a wet suit. Shocked, I asked him what he was doing. He replied, "What does it look like Mars?" and walked out the door.

I shot up and ran after him. He was, after all, drunk. And a drunk trying to surf was a no-no. He was already half way down the beach with a surfboard in his hand. Not knowing where it came from, I looked around and realized there were racks of them. I ran over to them, and nearly fell over as the weight of one of the boards almost knocked me over. I somehow put it back on the shelf and walked over to the other rack. There I picked up a short board, and ran after Logan, who was already in the water and paddling out to the other waiting for the next big wave.

I jumped into the water and ran as best as I could until the water was high enough to sit on the board. It was no joke trying to paddle out to the middle of the ocean. No wonder surfers were in such good shape.

By the time I reached Logan, my arms were burning and my lungs were heaving. He looked over in shock as I stopped next to him.

"What are you doing out here Mars?"

"Logan, your drunk. You shouldn't be surfing! What are you crazy?"

"We all go a little crazy sometimes."

"Not funny."

Title: Losing a part of you

Chapter Title: The Bonfire  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: nothing too major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 3498  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters. Thanks to my wonderful Beta Mary0112

Author's Note: Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that this is my favorite chapter so far. I worked extra hard on it, and also made it extra long. I'm not receiving feedback anymore, so I at least hope people are still enjoying this.

XOXOXOXOXO

"This is it! Turn around and start paddling!"

"What?"

I looked behind me, and sure enough, here came a wave. It was huge! Panicking, I turned around and paddled as hard as I could hoping to out swim it, but it was no use. I could barely here Logan telling me to stand up. I wanted to shout at him, how could anyone possibly stand up on something that was moving? My breathing went shallow as the panic took hold. Instead of standing, I wrapped my arms around the surfboard and hung on for dear life. The wave broke underneath me, and I watched in horror as my surfboard was falling forward, just as Duncan's car had that night. All I could do was relive it as the pressure of hitting the water knocked me off of the board, and I got caught in a rip tide. Flashes of being stuck in the car trying desperately to unhook Duncan kept coming at me. I tried as hard as I could to swim to the surface, and that just reminded me of the dead weight that was Duncan on my arm pulling me back under. My head finally broke the surface, and I gulped in as much air as possible before I was pulled back under again. I fought against the tide as hard as I could, but I was just falling in circles. Feeling my body get heavier and heavier, my mind started to relax. I saw Duncan swimming towards me, and when he got close enough, he held out his arms. I swam into them, and wrapped my arms around him. I knew everything was going to be okay now. He was here to take care of me.

When we broke the surface again, I leaned my head back, and with my eyes closed, basked in the warmth that was my love. Duncan pulled me up onto the sand and laid me down. I opened my eyes, and saw his silhouette looking down upon me.

"Duncan," I breathed out and smiled.

He leaned down closer to me, and again I said, "Love you," before my world went dark.

Coughing and sputtering, I was laying on my side trying to get the salt water out of my lungs. Finally, I felt better, and the person holding my side helps me to sit up. I look at my rescuer, and notice for the first time that it's Logan.

I groan, and ask what happened. He told me I tried to go surfing, but instead got caught in a rip tide. He helped me stand up and carried me to the villa. Inside, he put me down and led me towards the bathroom, and closed the door behind me. Feeling better, I pulled my damp clothes off, and got in the shower. Forty five minutes later, and I walked out into our room wrapped in a towel, just like Logan was a few hours ago. Looking around I noticed he was no where to be found. Looking at the clock, I see that it is 8:47, and Lilly was still sleeping. I grabbed a change of clothes, and headed back into the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later I walk back out to the smell of syrup. Looking to my right, I notice Logan sitting at the table filled with breakfast foods. My stomach rumbled, and I realized I was starving. Gingerly making my way over to the table, I all but fell into my seat, and leaned in to take a whiff. My mouth watered as I took it all in. There was French toast, waffles, sausage, bacon, eggs, toast, and orange juice. I smiled widely at Logan, and dove in.

I couldn't believe that between the two of us, we ate everything that was on the table. Feeling stuffed, I tried to stifle the yawn that escaped, but it was no use. I was exhausted. Logan noticed, and helped me to my bed. He laid me down and I got under the covers. He helped prop up my pillows, as I turned on the television, making sure it was on mute. It was only 9:30. He then came around to the other side, and sat up on top of the covers. I yawned again as I laid my head down on his shoulder. Next thing I know, my eyes are closed, and I'm fast asleep.

XOXOXOXOXO

"What the hell is going on?"

I jumped at the sudden intrusion. I opened my eyes and when they cleared, I noticed Lilly was standing above me with her hands on her hips. I feel something on my ear, and realize I was still leaning on Logan's shoulder. I sit up and look over. He was trying to wake up as well.

"Wha?" was his reaction.

I turn back to Lilly, and she's still glaring at me.

"What the hell Veronica, trying to steal my boyfriend?"

Confused, I ask her what she's talking about. She told me not to play dumb. The proof was right in front of her. She knows we had breakfast together by the dishes still on the table, and then she finds us cuddled together in bed. She asked me how I could do this to her. I scowled, but didn't want to have a confrontation. This was between her and Logan, not me.

I got out of bed, and told her that it was between the two of them, and that I would be back in a few hours. I walk out the door and look down at my watch. It was 11:53. What was I supposed to do while they finally had their talk? I was too sore to walk, and I definitely had too much of the beach. I saw Lynn walking over, and asked her about the motorized scooters that were parked nearby. I told her I wanted to ride into town for a little bit, and didn't know if I had to pay for them. She told me the red one was hers, and to hold on so she could get the keys. She came back and asked me why I was alone, and I told her Logan and Lilly were having a talk. She nodded knowingly, and told me to be careful. I said I would, and walked over to the scooter. I turned in on, and headed into town.

At first, I just drove all over taking in the sights. Then I noticed a boardwalk. I didn't want to park the scooter incase someone tried to steal it. Luckily I noticed there were others on their scooters on the boardwalk. I followed suit, and drove up and down. Going slowly, I was able to look into all the shops. Not seeing anything I wanted, I headed back towards the street. Looking at my watch again, I noticed it was almost two o'clock. I went to a hot dog vendor and bought some lunch. I really didn't want to head back to the villa knowing what was awaiting me. I was pissed at Lilly, and I knew she would want someone to talk to.

And I didn't want to deal with Logan right now. I knew he would be in a bad mood, so I stopped in front of a movie theater and noticed a spot to park my scooter. I got out and went into a movie. I bought myself some popcorn and a drink, and for two hours, thought about nothing but what I was watching.


	6. Chapter 5: The New Guy

Title: Losing a part of you

Chapter Title: The New Guy  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: nothing too major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 2658  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters. Thanks to my wonderful Beta Mary0112

Author's Note: I'm back! Sorry for the delay. Also, Introducing a new character!

XOXOXOXOXO

The next few days were strained. Logan and Lilly were ignoring each other, Logan was ignoring me, and I was ignoring Lilly. I spent most of my time hanging out with Lynn. She was like an older sister to me, and if felt great to have that support system. I called my dad everyday, and I let him think I was having the time of my life. He let me think things were finally calming down at home. Celeste tried taking her case against me to court, but the judge quickly dismissed it. All charges against me were dropped. I smiled. Finally some good news. Everything back home seemed to be working itself out.

Logan spent his days surfing, and Lilly spent all her time with Leo. Or any other random guy who crossed her path. When Lynn was busy with her friends, I would spend the time walking back and forth along the beach. I still avoided the water like the plague. It held nothing but painful memories to me. It was as I was making my way along the beach, that I saw the same Golden Retriever who gave me my first kiss this trip, running towards me. I smile as he stops in front of me, and drops the stick he was carrying. He sat down, gave a quick, sharp bark, and stared at me as he smiled away. I bent down and picked up the stick. He jumped up, and got into his pouncing stance. I drew back my arm and threw it as hard as I could. As soon as I released the stick, he was off in a flash.

As soon as he picked it up, he ran back towards me and dropped the stick at my feet, taking his stance again. I laughed as I bent down on one knee and wrapped my arms around his neck. He gave me a kiss on the cheek again. I wipe the slobber and jump when a shadow came over me. It was the owner of the dog. I stood up, and apologized.

He just smiled. He had a long curly brown fro, and the bluest eyes I have ever seen. They were almost gray. He smiled and said not to worry about it. He's never seen Chase take to a stranger like this before. He held out his hand and I shook it. I marveled at how strong his grip was, and tried to keep my eyes on his, and not from traveling down to his thick biceps and washboard abs. He looked like he just stepped out of an Abercrombie Ad. He must have been about 17, and had the most mesmerizing smile. "The name's Brendan" He said in a deep rich tone that sent chills down my spine. He let go of my hand, and I told him my name.

Chase barked, and we looked down at him. He pawed at the stick, and gave me innocent eyes. I melted, and bent down and picked it back up. Once again I drew my arm back and threw the stick. Chase took off once again.

For the next couple of hours, Brendan and I got to know each other as we continued to play with Chase. He told me his parent's own a beach house a little ways down, and he was spending his winter break here. I noticed he's been working on his tan. It suited him well. I looked down to my bikini clad body and noticed my own tan was coming along nice. All those long walks on the beach were helping.

He asked me if I would like to join him for lunch. I looked out towards the ocean, and noticed someone finish a wave, and come swimming in my direction. Curiously I watched as he got closer and closer. Then I groaned as I realized who it was.

Logan came out of the water and over towards me carrying his board. He had a frown on his face that only deepened the closer he got to us. He stopped in front of us and stuck his board standing up in the sand. He looked at Brendan and gave him the famous Echolls smirk as he studied the new guy.

"Logan, what are you doing here?" I tried to hide my curiosity. After all this time of not talking to me, and now he's interested.

"Who's this guy?" Logan asks instead as he continues to give the new guy the eye. I opened my mouth to reply, and Brendan beats me to it. "Name's Brendan." He held out his hand. Logan looked at it, and his frown deepened.

"This guy bothering you?" Logan finally turned to me and studied me. I scoffed. "Does it look like he's bothering me?"

What was his problem? Chase came running up and sniffed Logan's wet suit. He didn't notice. Chase butted Logan's leg, and he finally looked down. Chase sat down and waited to be patted. Logan just ignored him and continued to stare at me. Chase gave up, and laid across my feet.

"Did you forget something Veronica? You were supposed to meet me for lunch." I looked at him as if he grew two heads. Lunch? Since when did we have lunch plans? He hasn't talked to me in two days, and all of a sudden we had lunch plans?

I looked long and hard at Logan. Was he jealous? Of Brendan? "Sorry, Loganbut _we _don't have lunch plans. I am actually having lunch with Brendan and Chase over at his beach house. So if you would excuse us." I turned to Brendan. "Are you ready?" He nodded his head, and I noticed the smile he gave Logan. I moved away, and Chase got up and followed me. I grabbed onto Brendan's arm, and continued to walk down the beach. I couldn't see Logan, but I could feel his eyes and temper burn a whole into the back of my head. Serves him right for what he just did.

XOXOXOXOXO

"No more!" I put my hands on my stomach and groaned. "I've never eaten so much in my life!"

Brendan smiled as he held the fork with dessert on it. "One bite. Please, just try it." I gave in and leaned forward. He brought the fork to my lips, and hesitating, I opened wide enough for the food to go in. Once it did, I let out another moan, but this one of ecstasy. It was the best tasting chocolate cake I've ever had.

After he finished the cake, we went down to the deck where there was a hot tub beckoning to be used. Brendan turned on the jets, and got in. I took off my jean shorts and slipped one leg in. Then the other, until I was submerged up to my neck. I sighed, and closed my eyes in content as the jets massaged my tense muscles, I didn't even know I was clenching. After what happened in October, this is exactly what my body needed to unwind. I felt Brendan move beside me, and then felt arms on my shoulders. I leaned forward as he started to massage.

"So who was that guy back there?" Brendan wanted to know.

Being so enwrapped in his touch, I wasn't quite sure who he was talking about. "Who, Logan?"

"Yea, him. What's his deal?"

"What do you mean? Yes that's the spot!" He found a spot just under my shoulder blade, and kneaded it as I tried no to moan in ecstasy.

"So what's his deal? Is he a protective boyfriend, or a concerned friend?"

I couldn't seem to understand his words. His voice sent chills down my spine, as his body wrapped around me and the heat and jets sent me into euphoria.

"Oh Duncan, please don't stop." As soon as the words left my mouth, the hands stilled. I lifted my head back up and opened my eyes. "Why'd you stop?"

I turn around to face him, and looked at him. He had a funny look on his face and his hands still rested on my back. "What did you call me?"

The fog lifted and I was able to think more clearly. "What? I didn't call you anything."

"Yes you did. You called me Duncan. Who's Duncan?"

My mouth slowly opens. Did I really let his name slip? When did I even start thinking about him? Is he still watching over me, and trying to take over my thoughts?

A slow blush starts to creep over my cheeks. I face forward again. He slips out from behind me and moves in front of me. He gently takes a hold of my chin until I'm facing him. "Who's Duncan?"

At the sound of his name, tears immediately come to the front of my eyes. I tilt my head up so they wouldn't over flow. He wraps his arms around me, and my head rested on his shoulders. My own shoulders start to shake and the tears fall free. This whole time I've been living in paradise, and he's been gone. I haven't even thought about him since I met Brendan. He helped take my mind off of the past, and look forward to the here and now. And that thought terrified me.

I pulled away, and using the pads of his thumbs, he gently brushed away the tears. "He was…"

My words get stuck in my throat.

"He used to be my boyfriend." As in past tense. No more. Caput.

"I'm sorry. What happened?" Brendan's gaze was intense. It set my skin on fire. I shivered.

"It was an accident." Is all I can get out before the tears came again. All I could see was the water closing in around me. I gasped and pulled back. The water splashed around, and I nearly fell trying to get out of the hot tub. I got up, and practically ran towards the lounge chairs. I could hear Brendan following from behind.

I collapsed on the chair and continued to shake as the sobs took over. I felt something circle my shoulders, and through the tears I could see it was a towel, and his strong arms developed me again. And once again, I cried onto his shoulder.

When I calmed down, I pulled back, and looked away in shame as I used the towel to wipe away my tears. At least I finally stopped shaking.

"Did he break your heart?"

For some reason, hearing that made me smile. "You could say that. It was more like he didn't have a choice in the matter. But the important thing, is that I'm trying to move on. Which is why I'm here on this vacation. It was a Christmas gift from Logan, and it was exactly what I needed. An escape from reality." I look him in the eyes. "And meeting you has been the best thing that's happened so far. Please don't make me ruin it by continuing this conversation.

He nodded his head. "I get it. Why don't we find something else to do. I'm sure Chase would like some company."

XOXOXOXOXO

Brendan laid out a blanket on the beach a few hours later, and we had a picnic. We ate and talked. And after we finished eating, we sat there and watched the sunset. That's really the main thing I focused on in this trip. Everyday I would watch the sunset, and every time it would take my breath away.

This time was different. This time Brendan had his armed wrapped around my shoulders and I had an arm wrapped around his waist. Chase was laying at our feet, and the moment was picture perfect. I haven't been this happy in a long time.

That is, until a drunken Logan skulks over and stands in front of us. I look up at him, but with the fading light behind him, it makes it too hard to read his expression. He's reeking of booze, and has a bottle in his hand. I was starting to get really annoyed by his behavior of late.

"What?" I couldn't help snapping at him He just ruined my perfect moment. Brendan pulled away, and Chase growled.

I can't see it, but I know Logan's sneering. As well as swaying a bit. He sinks down to his knees, and Chase gets up. He then plops himself on my lap, as if to protect me. I absently ran my fingers through his coat.

"Why Ronnie?" Ok this was officially starting to creep me out. He never calls me Ronnie.

"Why what?" My voice softens. Maybe now I could learn what's been going through his head these past few days.

"Why would you do this to me?" He's slurring his words and I try not to roll my eyes.

"Do _what _Logan? Just spit it out already!" Well so much for patience.

Instead his gaze focuses in on Brendan. He seems to be taken aback. "What are you doing still hanging out with this loser?"

Brendan tenses. "Logan stop it! Why don't you go insult someone else. Like Lilly's new boy toy. Take your anger out on him." I tried to distract him. It didn't work.

"Who the hell are you, and what're you doin wit my Ronica?" Logan shoved the bottle towards Brendan like he was going to do something, but his reach falls short. Brendan stands up and tenses his muscles. Chase senses this, and stands back up. I stand up as well, and stand between the two boys because Logan has clumsily gotten to his feet as well.

"Please, just stop this!" I turn to Brendan and place my hands on his shoulders. "I'm really sorry about this. Maybe we can continue tomorrow?"

Brendan stares hard at Logan and fights to keep his temper in check. Finally, he looks back at me, and shakes his head. "Fine. How about my place tomorrow for lunch?"

I give him a weak smile. "Sounds great. I'll see you then." Brendan seems reluctant as he kisses me on the cheek, then he and Chase finally walk away.

I spin around to Logan and let my temper loose. "What the hell Logan? What is going on with you? Are you that messed up about Lilly that you would take it out on me? I finally find a friend, and you have to ruin it! Why?"

"This isn't about Lilly. This is about you going all googly-eyed over some dude! What about Duncan? Or have you forgotten about him already?"

I reel back as if I've been punched in the stomach. My breathing becomes shallow, and unconsciously, I clutch at my stomach. The tears, as always, immediately come to the surface, and I fight off a sob. When I do finally manage to speak, it's only in a whisper, "What?"

Logan not noticing my reaction, continues. "You heard me! What about my best friend? Huh the guy who was supposedly the love of your life. It's only been 2 months, and already your moving on! God Veronica, he's gone. Duncan Kane is gone, and he's not coming back. My best friend is gone." He breaks off as his legs collapse and he falls down on the towel. He drops the bottle and runs his hands through his hair. The tears stream down my face, and the initial hurt fades, as I realize what's happening. Logan Echolls is finally mourning the death of his best friend. I never realized that Logan kept it all inside, until now.

I drop to my knees as well, and crawl up to him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, and he leans his head on my shoulder as his body racks with sobs. His arms go under my shoulders and grips my shoulders hard.

Whoever said Logan Echolls couldn't feel?


	7. Chapter 6: New Years Eve Bash

Title: Losing a part of you

Chapter Title: New Years Eve Bash  
Rating: R  
Reasons for rating: For graphic violence  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 2980  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters. And many thanks to my new wonderful Beta Harri B!

Author's Note: Just want to let everyone know that I am back to writing this story! Also this chapter is rated R for Violence. You have been warned. Also if anyone would like to help Beta this story, let me know!

XOXOXOXOXO

It was finally New Years Eve, and I hated the way the year was ending. Duncan was gone, Lilly and I weren't speaking, Logan and I were, well we were finally speaking to each other. I wanted to start the New Year off on a good foot, and that was confronting Lilly. Her secret was eating away at me. I don't know how she could be so calm about it. I mean it's a life altering secret, and I couldn't take it anymore.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't find Lilly. She was no where to be found. I knew she couldn't be far, after all, we were on an island. We just must have kept missing each other.

The only good part about this trip, was that I never saw Mr. Echolls. Sure I saw him from a distance, but he was easy enough to avoid. But today, my luck must have run out, because I was now standing face to face with Aaron Echolls.

"Oh, hello Veronica. Nice day isn't it?"

I tried not to gag as I avoided looking him in the face. Instead I looked over his shoulder like I was scanning the sky. My throat closed up, and all I could do was shake my head yes. Aaron seemed oblivious to my reaction and continued to talk to me about nothing.

"Where's Lilly?" My eyes widen in shock. I couldn't believe I just let that slip out. I fought to cover my mouth with my hands as he continued to smile at me. That smile that made me shudder. Like something was crawling on my skin.

"How should I know. She's probably somewhere with Logan."

He continued to play oblivious, and I continued to bite my tongue. I nodded my head yes, and walked away.

XOXOXOXOXO

That night at the New Years Eve bonfire on the beach, I finally found Lilly. She was sitting in some guys lap and playing with his hair, with a drink in one hand. I took a deep breath, and walked slowly up to her. She didn't notice me, and she didn't hear me when I softly called out her name. But the guy noticed me. He stopped what he was doing, and Lilly finally looked up and sneered at me.

"Well if it isn't Veronica Mars gracing us with her presence." Lilly slurred out.

"We need to talk." I tried to remain confident, but I knew a drunken Lilly could be a problem.

She sloppily gets to her feet. "Wow Veronica, it's been how many days and now your talking to me? And, hello! Who are you?"

Lilly was looking over my shoulder, so I turned around and noticed Brendan was at my side. "Everything ok here?" He asked looking at me.

"Oh my god! Veronica Mars! I'm impressed. How'd you manage to snag such a hottie?" Lilly stumbled a bit as she walked over so she could stand next to Brendan.

I turn to Brendan, and give him a tight smile. "Thanks, but I really need to talk to Lilly. Can you give us some time, then I'll come get you?"

He nods in understanding. I turn back to Lilly and grab her arm. Then I make her follow me back to our room so we could have more privacy.

"Geez Veronica, lay off! What is your problem?" Lilly yanks her arm away.

"My problem? My problem?" I couldn't help it. Is she really that dense? Or just that drunk?

"Yea your problem. I was just about to meet your new boy toy, and you drag me in here. What gives?"

"Lilly how could you? After everything we've been through this year, and you do it anyway. What are you thinking? Are you insane or just horny?" I was having a losing battle with my anger.

"Whoa there tiger, slow your roll. I may be a bit tipsy, but I have no idea what your talking about."

"I'm talking about Mr. Echolls." I take a deep breath to try and relax my body. I didn't realize I was so tense.

"Mr. Echolls?" A playful smile tugs at her lips as she pretends to be oblivious.

"Yea. You know, the guy who used to be your boyfriend for almost two years? You know his dad right? How could you!" Emotions take over, and I'm practically shouting.

"Veronica Mars, I have no idea what your talking about. Now if you would excuse me, I have a party to get to." Lilly sashays past me, and out the door. Stunned, I sit down on the edge of the bed, and didn't see the shadow in the bathroom light.

Needing some comfort, I take a deep breath and walk outside to try and find Brendan.

XOXOXOXOXO

I walked up and down the beach, but I still couldn't find him. I found Logan, but he was even more trashed then Lilly was. He was sloppily making out with some local as he watched Lilly being the center of attention.

Finally I walk up to Brendan's porch. No lights were on inside the house, but the closer I got, the more I could hear a dog barking and whimpering.

"Chase? Is that you boy?" I call out as I made it to the glass sliding door. Their was Chase scratching at the door trying to get inside, while crying and whimpering.

"What is it boy?" I try the door, and it slides open. Chase takes off and runs inside the house and disappears before I even set foot inside.

"Hello? Brendan? Are you here?" Silence. Then a thud, a deep piercing whimper, and then silence again.

"Chase!" The sound was that of a dog being hurt. I took off into the living room and into the dining room.

"Chaaaaahhh..." As I was calling out the dogs name, I was leaning forward to look around the corner, and slipped and fell face first. Lifting myself up onto my knees, I curse myself for not having a flashlight. My hands and face felt sticky, so by using what little light I could, I tried to see what I slipped on. I wipe my hands on my shorts and use my arms and shirt to wipe my face. The jolt to the floor seemed to wake my senses and I went to look for a light switch. Finally finding it, I flick it on and try to find what I slipped on.

I gasp realizing what the puddle is. It's blood. Cautiously, I follow the trail of blood into the den. Their was Chase lying so still in a pool of his own blood. Immediately tears flow to my eyes as I kneel down next to him.

"Oh Chase, what happened boy?" The dog is quietly panting and whimpering. I got up and turned on the light. Now that I could see better, I noticed one of his legs is cut and he had a gash on his stomach. Luckily the bleeding wasn't too bad because the blood was already clotting. I didn't want to take any chances, and not really thinking about how he got hurt in the first place, I make my way towards the kitchen.

I don't hear the muffled noise as I look for the light switch. Finally, I find the light and look into the kitchen searching for a towel, and freeze in my tracks. I had finally found Brendan. He was screaming at me but the noise was muffled by the gag taped in his mouth. He was still in just his swim trunks, like he had just walked in from the beach.

Horrified, I rush to his side and try to untie him. He was duct taped to a chair. By the gash on his forehead, I would say he was knocked out and just came too.

A noise behind me stops me from clawing at the tape around his hands that were bound behind his bare back. Turning around, I stop dead in my tracks. My insides turn to ice as I try to inhale air. Instead it felt like I was inhaling shards of glass. I never knew what it was like to have a panic attack until now. I'm sure the site of Aaron Echolls calmly standing in front of you holding a bloody knife would cause this kind of reaction to anyone.

"Hello Veronica." He said in a cool and calm voice.

My heart actually fluttered. I never knew that was possible.

"Where are your manners Veronica? You've kept your guest waiting."

I look around for an escape, but of course he was in front of the only doorway, as their was no back door.

"We were starting to think you weren't going to show." He started fingering the bloody knife. "We wouldn't want that now would we?"

Still speechless, I was only able to gape at him.

"I'd like to play a game with you." He continued calmly as he walked up to us. I backed away as he grabbed Brendan's arm rest and whipped the chair around. He then brought the knife up to Brendan's throat. "What do you say Veronica?"

Not knowing what else to say or do, I nod my head yes. Anything to save Brendan.

"Good girl. I always knew you were smart and did the right thing. Now listen to the rules. I ask a question and you answer. If I think your telling the truth, your little _friend _here doesn't get hurt. But if your lying," Aaron drags the knife across Brendan's throat hard enough to make some tiny blood drops appear.

Gasping, my body jerks forward.

"Ah, ah, ah, I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Biting my lip and trying not to cry, I take a step back.

"First question. Are you enjoying your trip that I helped take care of?"

How to answer the question. My trip so far has been up and down, and he definitely had a few screws loose up top. Slowly, I nod my head yes.

"Well that's good to know. Ok next question. Have you been fighting with your friends?"

Again, I thought carefully, until I nod my head yes again.

"See Veronica this game isn't so hard. Now, next question. Have you and Lilly been fighting over a guy?" My head nods yes.

"Do you know who the guy is?"

Shit! How do I answer that? My eyes widen in panic. Without even realizing it, I furiously shake my head no.

"That's too bad Veronica, because I think your lying."

Aaron takes his knife away from Brendan's throat, and stabs the knife into Brendan's side. Veronica could only see the hilt of the knife sticking out of his stomach. Brendan cries out in pain, muffled by the gag, and again my body jerks forward.

Aaron roughly pulls the knife out and rests it against Brendan's neck again. The blood drips off the knife and down his collarbone as my tears drip down my cheeks.

"Let's try that again shall we? Do you know who the guy is?"

A sob breaks free from my throat and pass through my lips. "Yes!"

"Have you told anyone?"

I furiously shake my head no, terrified of what he'll do next. Aaron clicks his tongue. "I'm afraid I don't believe you."

"No!" Rips out of me as I lung forward.

He reacts by waving the knife in my face and gabbing my hair. He moves in so his lips are brushing against my ear. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." He lets go of my hair and pushes me back. Then he studies Brendan for a minute, contemplating his next move. I shoved my fist in my mouth, but I couldn't look away.

Aaron smiles slowly as he stabs the knife into Brendan's kidney. Brendan's eyes bulge out as he chokes on the gag.

"STOP IT!" I scream as I grab my hair and pull. "Your killing him!"

Aaron just keeps on smiling. "That's the point Veronica. You're the only one who can save him. All you have to do is answer me truthfully, and Brendan remains unhurt. But if you keep lying to me, well you can see what happens."

"Why are you doing this to me?" I sob and my knees give out, and I fall to the ground. I never take my eyes off of Brendan. He's sweating and crying, and breathing heavily. If only he didn't have that gag in his mouth, he could breath a lot easier. Please Duncan help me! I need you to help me save Brendan!

"Now, where was I? Oh yes. Have you told anyone who she's seeing?"

The tears fall harder as I debate on what to say. Either I stay truthful and say no, and he hurts Brendan even more, or I lie and say I have, and he may or may not hurt him more. Oh god what was she supposed to do?

"Well? I'm afraid Brendan here hasn't gotten that much time." Aaron said with sinister in his voice.

Panicking, I just decide to blurt out my answer, "No, I haven't! Please, don't hurt him anymore!"

Aaron shakes his head back and forth. "Why must you lie to me Veronica? Do you want to see Brendan get hurt even more? I know you told someone, now just tell me who you told!" Aaron starts yelling.

I'm crying too hard to say more than, "please." All I have left in me is to beg. I finally look Brendan in the eye, and I can see the terror and the pain radiating into my very pores. Aaron takes the knife, and stabs Brendan in the gut.

"One more wrong answer Veronica, and this knife goes through his heart."

My body's shaking as I'm still on the ground sobbing. "Now, how would you like to die?"

"Wha?" I gasp as I stare stupidly at Aaron.

"You heard me. You can't just expect me to let you waltz out of here like nothing happened now do you? I know you know that Lilly and I are sleeping with each other. I was in the bathroom earlier when you confronted her. Thanks to you, I got suspicious this morning when you asked me where Lilly was. You looked so scared and nervous to even be looking at me, So I decided to follow you and see for myself what was wrong. Boy was I in for a surprise when I heard the truth! So what's it gonna be Veronica? Slow and painful, or quick and easy."

Before I could even react, Aaron raises the knife and stabs Brendan in the chest.

"Nooo!!!" Rips out of me before I can even process what's happening. I lung forward on my knees as Aaron takes the knife out and Brendan slumps forward. He then takes the knife and cuts the bonds holding Brendan up, and he falls on top of me. Sobbing, I put all my weight on his chest wound to try and stop the bleeding.

"You did it Veronica. You killed him. Why couldn't you just tell me the truth? Things would have went a lot smoother." Aaron continues to taunt me and mentally destroy me.

I continue to sob over Brendan as I feel the rage start to take over me. Aaron roughly grabs my arms and lifts me up to my feet. I let him do it, and when he lets go, I whirl around and slam the heel of my palm up into Aaron's nose. I hear a snap, and the blood and curses start flowing.

I whirl around and run for my life. I completely forgot about Chase, and I trip over him. I land hard on my right wrist. Chase and I both yelp out in pain and something in my head explodes into millions of dots.

I lay there in a daze listening to the banging going on in the kitchen. The moment passes and I slowly get back up. I look down at Chase, and promise him I'll send for help. I take off again. I made it outside and try to run as fast as I can in sand. A noise comes from the house, and I turn in time to see Aaron bumping into the slider door. I pick up the speed, thankful that I'm wearing scandals.

As I get closer to the bonfire, I can hear the laughter and music, but I feel like it's coming from another lifetime. Running was getting harder to do, due to the lack of oxygen making it's way into my lungs. I look behind me and see that Aaron's gaining on me. Barely registering I can hear someone screaming. I try to pick up my speed, but it's impossible. Between the burning sensation in my lungs and body, and that annoying screaming, I found myself slowing down instead.

I focus my attention in front of me, and between the bursts of black dotting my vision, I can see people looking in my direction. Some of them are even starting to stand up. I can't hear the music over the screaming. My brain can't seem to realize it was me making all that noise.

Just as my vision was fading to complete black, I could finally see Logan running towards me. Suddenly the screaming stops and I focus all my energy on Logan. If only I could just reach him, then everything would be ok.

Suddenly I feel arms wrap around my legs, and this time my knees take the brunt of my fall. I can taste sand in my mouth as a body crawls up my body. I'm flipped over and my vision starts to fade to black as arms wrap around my neck.


	8. Chapter 7: A New Beginning

Title: Losing a part of you

Chapter Title:  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: Nothing Major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 3279  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters.

Author's Note: Things I need to solve before this story finishes: Finding out who the mysterious driver was that killed Duncan, who raped Veronica, find out what happens with Aaron and getting LoVe together!

XOXOXOXOXO

Just before my vision completely fades to black, all I can see is Logan's face looming over mine. My brain stutters as I try to figure out why it's Logan's face above mine and not Aarons, and instead of feeling hands on my neck, I feel them on my shoulders. I try to suck in as much air as possible to try and clear the black fog from my head.

As I try to get my breathing under control, and the blackness starts to clear, I can see other faces starting to surround me. Their voices are distant and scattered, but I get the gist. Their worried about me. I'm guessing it's because of all the blood on me, and the way I ran up to them like a monster was chasing me.

Speaking of monster, I sit up so fast, my head starts to spin. Waiting for it to catch up with the rest of me, I look back towards the house and everyone in the crowd, but I cannot find Aaron.

"Where is he?" Comes out of my throat in a shriek.

Logan grabs my shoulders again. He's level to me, and makes sure it's just his face I can see. "Listen to me Veronica. I need you to tell me what happened. Why are you covered in blood?"

I take a few deep breaths to try and slow down my beating heart, but it's no use. My eyes widen as they swell with unshed tears. My breathing becomes more shallow, and Logan's hands on my shoulders squeeze tighter. "Tell me."

"Brendan," slips out of my trembling lips. Logan scrunches his face in concentration. He mumbles the name as he tries to think of who I'm talking about. Finally recognition dawns on his face. "Which house?" He wants to know.

Numbly, I lift my finger and point to his house that is now a little ways down. Logan stands up, and scoops me up into his arms. He starts walking to Brendan's house, as I curl up and shield my eyes. I look behind me and see curious eyes following. Those curious eyes belong to Lilly and whoever she's been hanging out with. I also see Mrs. Echolls following with a look of curiosity and concern on her face.

Finally, I feel Logan start to climb the steps, and unconsciously by body tenses, and I bury my face in his shoulder. He leans down to put me down on a chair, but I just cling harder. I don't want him to let go of me, but tears start streaming down my cheeks. He lets go of my legs, and I swing them around his waist. He grabs my arms and tries to remove them from his neck, but I just tighten my grip. Exasperatedly he says my name, but I refuse to let go.

Finally he straightens back up and enters into the open glass door. As we made our way into the living room, it's still dark. I guess I never turned the living room lights on. When we step into the dining room however, I hear a collective gasp fill the room. I look around and notice people crouched around Chase. Luckily he was still awake and whimpering. Logan's mouth was level with my ear, so when he spoke it sent shivers down my back. "Is this where the blood on you came from?"

I shake my head no and bite down on my bottom lip, trying to fight off the rest of my tears. Logan takes that as his cue to continue walking.

He finally makes his way into the kitchen where he stops dead in his tracks. He stopped so suddenly that the people that were just around Chase, walked into him. Seeing as how he was blocking the doorway, no one could see into the kitchen. I stare at Lilly's quizzical look as my arms around Logan's neck and my legs around his waist tighten. I can't see into the kitchen, but I can imagine it. My breathing becomes shallow again as I fight off the panic attack. The people I can see start mumbling to each other, but I can't understand them. My hearing is focused instead on Logan's unsteady breathing in my ear, which was causing shiver after shiver to race through my body.

Lynn gets impatient, and pushes her son out of the doorway. She and the crowd move into the kitchen, and stop dead in there tracks. Gasps and shrieks were bounced off the walls. I was thankful I was still looking into the dining room, because I don't think I could've handled the site of Brendan again.

Slowly, I can feel Logan's arms start to tighten around my waist as his legs start to shake. He finally sinks to his knees, and leans back on his heels. His breathing is starting to sound like mine. Instead I focus in on his heart beating against my chest, and his breath on my ear. I close my eyes, and just concentrate on Logan. I think he does the same with me, because after a few minutes, our hearts are beating as one, and our breathing is one as well.

I can hear people scrambling around behind me, and people yelling into their cell phones. They must be calling the police.

Meanwhile thoughts of Aaron were swirling around in my head. Where could he possibly be? Did he actually follow me outside? Or was that just my imagination? Did he escape out a window, or when no one was looking? Or was he still in the house?

I gasped, and instead a hiccup came out. Logan jumped from the noise in his ear. I start to panic again. He leans back my head so I can look at him. He notices the pure panic in my eyes. He mouths the word 'what?'

My body starts to shake as it goes into flee mode. My mind was screaming at me that Aaron was still in this very house. The only room I haven't been in tonight was the bedroom. That's where he has to be.

I jump when Logan takes a hold of my face. Once again I find myself looking into his eyes. I part my lips to say something, anything, to let him know how I'm feeling, but words have seemed to fail me. I have never been so petrified of anyone in all of my life.

Words seemed to fail him as well, but in his eyes I could see all of his questions. I try to answer him back with the power of my stare. I know all he can see is my fear and panic, but I think it worked. He mouthed to me if the person was still here.

Hoping the answer is no, I shrug my shoulders. He responds by standing up. I'm still wrapped tightly around him, but I relax my muscles and stand on my own two feet. Not wanting to lose the connection, I snake my left arm around his right, and with my right hand grab onto his right hand.

Together we walk away from the crowd and into the only room we haven't visited yet. Brendan's bedroom door was closed. Slowly, Logan pushes open the door with his left hand. I Squeeze his arm as we both cautiously make our way into the room. I flip on the switch, and we take in our surroundings. Aaron was no where to be found. The closet door was closed, but the bedroom window was open. He must have left through the window. Half of me sighs in relief that he's no where near me, but the rest is still in terror because now he's out there roaming around as a free man. How can I prove that he was the one who killed Brendan?

I feel a tug on my arm, and notice Logan has sat down on the bed. I stare at him questioningly as I sit down beside him. He wraps his arm around my shoulder, and I wrap both my arms around his waist and rest my head against his chest.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours. It wasn't until Lilly walked into the room that we forgot their were other people in the house. She walks up to us and sits down beside me. I sit up straight and let go of his waist. His arm stays around my shoulder, so I hold onto that hand. Lilly has tears in her eyes, and as best as she could, gives me a hug.

"I'm so sorry Veronica! It must feel terrible to lose two boyfriends in less than a three months." Lilly thinks she's comforting me. But in reality, she's just making it worse.

She pulls back. "I know this must be tough for you right now, but the local police are here. They want to talk to you about what happened."

I knew the right thing to do is to tell them what happened, but I don't think I can relive it again. Slowly, I stand back up. Part of me was surprised when Logan stood up with me, and part of me was relieved. I knew I could do it with him by my side.

With his arm still around my shoulders and me still gripping his hand, we make our way back out into the kitchen. I kept my eyes on my feet knowing I was in good hands and would be steered in the right direction.

Sure enough, Logan led me outside onto the deck. I was finally able to look up and see the officer in front of me. He introduced himself, and had us take a seat. He had one of his men get us some water. I didn't even realize how dry my throat was until I drank the whole glass in one. No wonder I wasn't able to talk just yet.

When I was finally parched, the police officer starting asking me questions about what happened. I started from the beginning of when I went to his house to try and find him, but instead found Chase scratching at the glass door.

It slowly got more difficult to talk when I got to the part of Chase laying in his own blood, and how I went to the kitchen to try and help him.

"What happened when you got to the kitchen?" The officer asked. Finally I knew we were getting to the stuff they really needed to know to help solve this case. A case. I can't believe Brendan's life came down to a case. More like a murder.

Tears well up in my eyes. "I, uh. I didn't notice anything until I turned on the light and looked up to see Brendan tied to a chair."

"And what did you do from there?" The officer continued.

I told him how I tried to get him loose. He asked me what stopped me. "He was behind me. He cleared his throat, and it dawned on me that the person was still in the house."

"Did you know the person that tied up Brendan?" The officer wanted to know. I shake my head yes.

I could feel my throat start to close up. I couldn't look Logan in the eyes, and I felt sick to my stomach when he squeezed me in comfort. I whisper the name to the floor. No one heard me, and they asked me to speak up.

Trying to build my confidence, I take a deep breath and look the officer in the eye. "Aaron. It was Aaron Echolls."

The arm around my shoulders tighten almost painfully. I still couldn't look him in the eye. I felt like I let him down somehow. I should have just told him when he first asked me who Lilly was with. Maybe it would have never come to this. Brendan would still be alive, and in a perfect world, Aaron would be in jail. In a perfect world, Duncan would still be alive and I would have never met Brendan.

The officer asked me what Aaron did, and slowly, I was able to choke out that Aaron kept stabbing Brendan until he wasn't breathing anymore. I left out that Aaron was toying with me, and make me think killing Brendan was all my fault.

The officer wanted to know how I got away, and I said I fought back and ran. He finished up with his questions, and handed me his card. He asked how much longer we would be here, and we told him another day. He told me not to leave the island until then. He left to look for Aaron.

I still wasn't able to look at Logan, and I mourned the loss of contact when his arm dropped from my shoulder.

Lilly walks over to me and helps me to my feet. I'm too numb to notice. She walks me back to our room and leads me to the bathroom. I shed my clothes and step into the scalding hot water trying to wash off the sting of rejection and Aaron's actions.

An hour later I get out of the shower and see that Lilly left me some pajamas on the toilet. After I'm dressed I walk out into the bedroom and see Lilly sitting on my bed. I walk over, and collapse onto it. We lay down side by side and Lilly tells me what happened while I was in the shower. They found Aaron with his broken nose. They arrested him and took him in for questioning. Aaron is claiming to have taken a walk down the beach and tripped on some rocks, and that's how he broke his nose.

I was finally able to pass out after hours of just laying there and listening to Lilly's steady breathing.

XOXOXOXOXO 

That morning I was awoken by noises coming from outside. Blearily, I sit up in bed and look around. When my eyes focus, I see that all of our things are packed and that Lilly is sleeping next to me. Slowly I get to my feet and make my way outside. Immediately the sunlight blinds me. I raise my arm to my eyes to shield against the light, and see Lynn standing beside her husband who was talking to some officers.

Frozen in terror, all I can do is just stand there and stare at them. Their conversation stops and they just stare at me. Finally the officer walks up to me and asks me if he could talk to my privately.

I follow him along the beach and he explains to me what's going on. They searched the whole house and all they could find was Brendan's and my fingerprints. There was no trace that Aaron was ever in the house. And because he's famous and has the best lawyers known to man, there was no reason to hold him any longer. He was free of any charges.

He left as my legs couldn't support me anymore, and I sank to my knees. Sobbing, I lower my face into my hands. I jump and scream when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Whipping my head up, I sigh in relief. It's Lilly letting me know we'll be leaving in ten minutes. I nod and follow her back to our rooms. Thankfully no one else is there.

We walk into the room and Logan is gathering everyone's bags. Silently I walk over to him and help him. When everything was loaded in the limo, the four of us head back to the airport. On the plane the three of us sat together, and I could feel Aaron's eyes burning holes into the back of my head the whole time.

When we stepped out in the airport, I instinctively looked around for my father. Of course he wasn't there, but I just wanted to see a familiar face. We make our way to another limo where the driver is loading our luggage into the trunk.

Our first stop was at the Kane house. Not wanting to be seen by Celeste, I embrace Lilly in the car. Her and Logan exchange an awkward smile, and then she gets out.

Being stuck in a car with murderer is not something I recommend. Thankfully he kept going on and on about his career to fill the silence. When we pulled up to my house, Logan got out with me. I received a huge shock when I looked up at the house and noticed a different car sitting in the driveway. Confused, I slowly walk up the walkway. Logan not sure what was happening, follows me. I tried to open the front door, but it was locked.

I ring the doorbell and wait for my mom or dad to answer the door. Instead someone our age answers the door. She had brown hair with a blue streak in it.

"Can I help you?" The girl asks. Baffled, all I can do is stand there and stare at her.

"Uh, is Mr. Mars here?" Logan asks for me just as baffled.

The girl scrunches up her face. "why would he be here?" She wants to know.

My jaw drop. "Maybe because he lives here!" I didn't mean to sound so rude.

The girl seemed to be taken aback. "He hasn't lived here for a week. From what I heard, he moved into the Sunset Cliffs Apartments."

A wave of dread washes over me as I feel the energy leave my body. My parents wouldn't leave without telling me right? I mean I knew the house was sold, but we still had this month. "You the McKenzie's?" I ask.

The girl nods. "The names Mac."

"Thanks for your help Mac." Logan says as he grabs my arm and leads me back to the limo. He tells the driver to put the bags back in the trunk and to head over to the Sunset Cliffs Apartments.

When we arrive at the apartments, the driver once again takes my bags out. Logan takes my luggage and walks up and knocked on the landlord's door. I don't hear the exchange between Logan and the landlord, but after a few minutes Logan walks back over to me and takes my things.

He walks me up some stairs, and stops at number 110. Logan knocks on the door and I can hear a dog barking. Tears well up in my eyes and I bit my bottom lip. Backup was behind that door. The door opens, and their stands my father looking surprised.

"Veronica! Your home early. I wasn't expecting you so soon." Keith exclaims. "Come in. Hello Logan."

Logan said he would call me later. He gives me a hug that lasts longer than it should. It helps revive me a bit.

Dad takes my bags and takes them into the house. I carefully look around. It wasn't that big. It had a kitchen/dining room to the right, and the living room to the left. Most of our stuff was already unpacked. I walk down the hallway. On the left was a bathroom, and across from that was my parents room. Straight ahead was my room. Everything was set up the same way it was in my old house. I even had my own bathroom.

I walk back out into the living room where dad was standing at the counter. "Where's mom?" I wanted to know.

He pauses, and then sighs. "Honey, we need to talk."


	9. Chapter 8: The Truth

Title: Losing a part of you

Chapter Title: The Truth  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: Nothing Major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 2176  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters.

Author's Note: Yay an update!

XOXOXOXOXO

I stood in my new bathroom staring at my reflection through the mirror. The conversation I just had with my father spinning through my head.

"Where's mom?" I asked dad.

He pauses, and then sighs. "Honey, we need to talk." 

Instantly my body tenses. This wasn't what I expected. I thought he would tell me she was at the store or something. But from the look on his face, I know it's more than that.

My voice cracks as I say, "she's not coming back is she?"

He shakes his head no, and the tears pool. I open my mouth to try and say something, but nothing would come out. I guess he thought starting from the beginning would be best.

"The house was sold sooner than we thought. And when I moved into the house, your mother didn't follow. One night she was gone. No note, no nothing. I'm sorry honey. I would have told you sooner. But it wasn't something I wanted to tell you over the phone on your vacation. How was your vacation?"

The last 24 hours have been the worst days of my life. First Brendan, then Mr. Echolls being cleared, and now mom's gone. It was only the first day of The New Year, and already I was in hell.

I lean in closer to the mirror until my nose was practically pressed against it. My eyes were blood shot, there were bags under my eyes, and my cheeks were pasty.

Suddenly a wave of anger washed over me, and instead of seeing myself staring back at me, I saw my mother. With her perfect eyes, perfect smile, and perfect long blonde hair staring back at me. Before I could stop myself, I run out into my room and grab the pair of scissors sitting on my desk. I go back into the bathroom, and smile wickedly at my mother. I grab her hair and start chopping.

It was time for a change. Now that my mother was gone, both mentally and physically, it was time for me to grow up. I was tired of being depressed. I need to get my act together and find out who raped me, who killed Duncan, and find a way to get Aaron in jail.

Luckily when I left my room, my dad wasn't home. I don't think I was ready to face him yet. I still couldn't believe this was my new home. It was going to take some major adjusting too.

My first stop was to a hairdresser so they could fix my hair. In chopping at my mother's hair, I was actually cutting at my own. It ended up being a lot shorter than I thought. Good. I was no longer that sweet, naïve, innocent child.

My next stop was to buy new clothes. I needed something more than pink and purple dresses. I needed something with spice. Maybe some reds and blacks.

I didn't know how to go about finding Duncan's killer or how to find my rapist, but I did know one thing I could do. try to get a confession from Lilly Kane.

I went home, changed, and picked up my tape recorder. I also took my video camera just in case.

I went to Lilly's house, and thanked my lucky stars that Mr. and Mrs. Kane weren't home. Knowing I couldn't get in through the front door, I went around to the back where Lilly's room is.

As I was about to round the corner, I could hear yelling. Thinking quickly, I take out my video camera and turn it on. I swing around the house and zoom in. I almost dropped the camera in shock. Aaron Echolls and Lilly Kane were arguing together. I tried to get as close as I could get to them without being spotted, and to see if I could hear what they were saying.

"Where are the tapes?" Aaron yelled. I couldn't hear what Lilly said in return, but I could hear Aaron again say, "I'm not playing around here!"

As they moved closer to me and the pool, I could finally hear the both of them clearly.

Lilly said, "oh really? Well your usually very interested in playing with me."

I tried not to gag as that night came to mind and I could see the two of them together.

"I want those taped you stupid little bitch!" Aaron angrily grabs her arm. I inhale sharply as I sense danger coming. Thankfully Lilly breaks free and says a snappy come back. She then diverts her attention by getting ready to sunbathe.

I can't see Aaron's face, but I can see him tense. I watch as he picks something up from one of the tables, and swings as hard as he can just as Lilly turns back to him. He connects with her head and she goes flying.

In shock, I don't move. I don't even thing I'm breathing. I watch in shock as Aaron walks over to her, looks down, then wipes the object her hit her with on his dark t-shirt, turns around, and runs away in the opposite direction of where I'm standing.

Finally my limbs remember how to work and I run over to her. I kneel down, put down the camera, and lift her up and into my arms. I cradle her as I rock her back and forth, repeating her name over and over again.

I don't know how much time passes, but I can start to hear commotion behind me. Someone grabs me, and I look up and see that it's Jake Kane.

"What have you done?" he repeats as he takes Lilly from me. I can hear Celeste Kane shrieking as she calls 911.

Things become fuzzy after that. I think my dad eventually shows up because I can vaguely remember him wrapping his arms around me and leading me away.

Reality crashes down around me as I find myself sitting across from Lamb in the investigation room.

His words sink in just in time for me to hear him tell me they are going to watch my video tape now.

Up until now it never occurred to me that they had no idea what was on the tape, or who actually killed Lilly. I haven't actually said anything since before it happened.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of the television as the blue screen turned into a picture. It was shaky at first, but then it stilled and zoomed in on the two figures. You could see Lilly's face clearly, and I tried to hold in my sob.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lamb lean in closer to the screen, as recognition dawns on his face. By now you can clearly see and hear Aaron Echolls.

I watched again as Mr. Echolls grabbed Lilly's arm, and she yanked it away.

Even though I knew what was coming next, it still hurts just as much seeing it a second time.

Aaron picks the object up off of the table and swings at Lilly's head. I try to turn my head away as gasps are heard around the room. I try instead to focus on my breathing.

XOXOXOXOXO

The next few days went buy in a blurry haze. I vaguely remember Aaron Echolls finally being captured for the murder of Brendan and Lilly Kane. They caught him just as he was trying to flee the country. He finally confessed to everything. My father wouldn't really let me leave the house either. Except for Lilly's funeral. It was the same as Duncan's except much worse seeing as how both Kane children were gone now. Mr. and Mrs. Kane both left the country. We all think it was so there grief wouldn't be so strong as it must be in that big empty house full of memories.

The only think I can really remember is Logan all around me. I don't remember if we actually ever talked or even touched each other. I just remember his presence being there. Surrounding me and lifting me up every time I think I'm going to drown in my emotions. I became so numb that nothing ever sank into me. Each day was the same. A big giant blur filled with nights of tears. More like sobbing actually. And my father. He's all I remember as well. He's the one who cradles me at night as the pain consumes me. Eating my mind, body and soul.

I don't know how much time passes, but I do know that the days were finally becoming less blurry and were starting to fill back in. It all came crashing into me the day Logan pulled me aside and wrapped his arms around me.

"I've been wanting to do that for the longest time." He told me.

I hold on for dear life. Afraid to let go. Because if I let go, then I would mentally drown. I was tired. Mentally and physically tired of hurting. I cried. I cried for Duncan. I cried for my innocence. I cried for Brendan. I cried for my mother deserting us, and I cried for Lilly. Feeling drained and unable to stand anymore, I think Logan got the hint. He lifted me up and carried me to his car. He drove me to the beach and over to the bonfire pit. It was the same one all four of us ever got to be together again.

He placed me gently on the log, and together we both stared at the fire pit. Logan silently got up and gathered some wood. Then he went back to his car and got the lighter fluid and matches. He lit the fire. Even though it was day time, it brought us both back. He sat down next to me and put his arm around me. And magically, we were both taken back to that night. The night were everything seemed perfect. We were all so in love, young, and care free. And if it wasn't for my stupid curfew…no. Don't go there. Just keep thinking about the happy times.

Think of Logan and everything he's ever done for me. Think of all the times he's been there for me. All the times he's held me while I cried. And all the times he could make me laugh.

I stared up into his beautiful eyes, and couldn't help but smile.

"What?" He asked curiously as he looked down at me.

It finally hit me. I was in love with Logan Echolls. I think I always have been. Even before I started dating Duncan and he Lilly.

The smile fell from my lips as I stared at him intently.

"What is it?" He whispered in concern.

This time I didn't think. I just responded. I responded to his sexy voice and the way it sends shivers down my spine. The way his eyes look at me like he's looking into my soul. The way his body naturally draws to me and keeps me warm. The way his big hands feel when they hold my hand. The way his…

Without thinking I lean into him and kiss him. He seems surprised at first, but then I watch as his eyes flair in passion and his kisses me back. His hands find my hair and tangles his fingers in it. Mine find his cheeks and lovingly caress them. Our kiss deepens as his tongue explores my mouth. My body turns to fire and I know it's not because of the fire pit. It's him. He's consuming me in flames.

Finally, our kisses slow down and we pull apart in desperate need of air. Words have escaped me as my eyes grow as round as saucers. I put a hand up to my mouth and touch my swollen lips. Never in my life has Duncan ever made me feel this way. And it scares the hell outta me.

"Wow," escapes from my lips.

He smiles at me. "Yea, wow!"

I can't help but smile back. Who would have thought that in all the midst of tragedy, there was still love and passion.

"What was that for?" He asks as he leans his forehead against mine.

"For everything. For always being there for me. Through everything I've been through recently. For the way you make me feel, and the way you look at me." I decided to just be honest with him.

His smile grows. "It's about time Mars. I've realized it for a while now. Even though I've loved you since before I dated Lilly. But I've been trying to get your attention during our trip. Even if I didn't fully realize it. Why are you crying?" He wanted to know.

"You said you love me."

"I did, didn't I? Well it's too late to take back now. I love you Veronica Mars. I always have and I always will." Logan caressed my cheek.

"I love you too Logan, and I always have." I gave him another searing kiss.

XOXOXOXOXO

Bring on the sap! I figured it was about time something good happened to Veronica. And since I want to finish this story, I have to get these too together!


	10. Chapter 9: The Rapist

Title: Losing a Part of You

Chapter number: Nine

Chapter Title:  
Rating: T  
Reasons for rating: nothing too major  
Ships: For now Veronica/Duncan, Logan/Lilly. Eventually Logan/Veronica  
Summary: What happens when you lose the love of your life? Slight AU.

Word Count: 2401  
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of the Characters.

Author's Note: Sorry it's taking me so long to post chapters on my stories. I'm trying to write them as fast as I can.

XOXOXOXOXO

Now that Lilly and Brendan's killers were found, it was time I finished my other goals. I needed to find out who raped me, and who killed Duncan. I knew it would probably hurt me more than it would help me, but thanks to Logan, I could now carry that burden. He has helped me in so many ways. He has been my rock, and the shoulder I lean on. It's been two months since Lilly died, and he has been with me every step of the way.

Thanks to dads connections as a Private Investigator, I was able to use resources that wouldn't normally be available to me. Though so far they've been to no avail. I do know the car that was used to run Duncan and I off the road that night, but turns out it was a rental used under a fake name, and they paid cash for it.

As for finding my rapist, I've been asking around to see if anyone noticed anything that night. I think most were lying to protect themselves, or they were scared of Logan's reaction. Either way, I wasn't getting anywhere. That is, until I got three different stories of one particular part of the night.

Dick told me he saw Beaver, Sean and Casey walk into the bedroom he saw me passed out in. He didn't know how I got there, and he said he figured the guys were checking up on me. How naïve Dick can be.

Beaver stuttered his way through it and said that nothing happened. Well maybe not nothing. Sean and Casey were making fun of him. Telling him that now was his time to score. He said he defended me by telling them that I was unconscious. He said the guys just laughed, and one of them threw condoms on the bed. He said that when the guys left, he got sick and ran out of the room.

Sean said that he, Casey and Beaver found me in the guest bedroom and that Casey was giving Beaver a hard time. He basically gave the same story but with Casey as the villain.

And Casey gave the same story but with Sean being the bad guy. This is interesting. All three guys have the same story, but with different aspects. The way I see it, one of them did it. And I honestly couldn't see Beaver doing it. I believed that he got sick and ran out of the room. Then maybe one of the guys back tracked and did the deed. That thought alone made me sick to my stomach. But I had to get to the bottom of this.

This girl named Carmen was having a problem that was similar to mine. A video leaked of her getting freaky with a popsicle from the same party. Maybe by helping her, I could get more answers.

Thankfully from the skills I picked up from my working for my father. He only had me as a secretary taking calls, but he didn't know how quickly I was picking up the routine, I was able to find out it was Carmen's boyfriend who leaked the video. Turns out Carmen wanted to dump him, but he didn't like the idea.

Through the grape-vine I heard that Sean, Luke and Casey went to Tijuana Mexico and scored some GHB. Luke gave his to Carmen's boyfriend at the party, and he drugged his girlfriend. Luke also told me that Casey put some in his girlfriend's cup, but he was pretty sure she didn't take the drink. I asked how he knew that.

He said that she was mad at me because Casey was making out with me. She was the one who wrote on my car. So either she gave me the drink or she put it down and someone else knew it was drugged, and gave it to me. It had to be either Sean or Casey.

Now it's between Casey and Sean. I had no choice, I had to talk to Casey's girlfriend. And the next chance I had was at a barbeque.

Logan was surprised when I asked him if we could go to the barbeque. He knew I was up to something to want to go to an 09er party, but he finally agreed anyway. He must have figure that if he was at my side the whole night, nothing too bad could happen. Let's hope he's right.

This 09er party just happened to be at Casey's house. This would give me a chance to poke around the house and see if I could find anything. What, if anything would I actually find, I didn't know, but a girl could hope. Maybe he'll be so drunk I can get a confession from him.

A few hours later and nothing. It was true that everyone was drunk, but it didn't look like anyone was doing more than dancing or making out. And I did check out Casey's room, but as I expected, I didn't find anything useful. I even checked his computer and any papers he had around hoping he wrote anything down, but other than the usual things you find on a guys computer or on his papers, there was nothing unusual. So that left following Sean.

Which turned out not being so hard. Him, Casey and a bunch of guys spent the night playing poker. The only time he got up was to go to the bathroom. This was getting me nowhere except putting me in a bad mood. The only other two options I had was to either join in on the poker game, or talk to Casey's ex girlfriend.

Ex girlfriend it is. I searched everywhere for her, and finally found her by the pool surrounded by all her friends. They saw me approaching them and fell silent.

"Well if it isn't Veronica mars gracing us with her presence. What are you doing here? I know for a fact you weren't invited. Just because your dating Logan doesn't give you the right to be here."

"Put away the claws Carrie. I just came over here to talk to you for a minute. Then you can go back to talking trash about me. Because I know you have nothing better to do than spend your time talking about me."

Carrie huffed. She shared a look with her friends, and then finally rolled her eyes. "Fine. But make it quick. I have more important things to do."

Carrie and I walked over to where I could find the most privacy. "I wanted to ask you about Shelly Pomroy's party. I know you were there, and I want to know what you saw." I braced myself for whatever Carrie has to say.

Carrie let a slow smile come across her face as my words sank in. "Oh this is good. Veronica Mars can't remember and now she wants my help. Tell me why I should help you? After all you were the one who made out with my boyfriend right in front of me."

I closed my eyes and let my breath out in a huff. To tell or not to tell. "Someone spiked my drink, and I really need to know who it was."

Carrie looked taken aback. "Oh." She was quiet for a few minutes. "What do you want to know?" Thankfully Carrie decided to be helpful. Somewhat.

"I know that Luke, Sean and Casey went to Tijuana right before the party. I know Luke gave his away, and I know Casey put some in your drink. But from what I was told it looked like you never actually drank it, I need to know if you ever received a drink and if you drank it or not. I need to know if it was somehow passed on to me."

Carrie's eyes got wider and wider throughout the story, and a look passed over her features.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"Casey got me a drink, but I never drank it. I saw you walking towards me and I decided to give it to you. But Veronica, I swear I had no idea. I can't believe Casey tried drugging me!"

Her shock was turning into anger. "Maybe there's a way you can help me get back at him."

Carrie looked interested. "What do you have in mind?"

XOXOXOXOXO

I walked over to the poker table a while later and notice Logan at the table playing. I sidled up behind him and covered his eyes with my hands. "What do you think your doing?"

Logan looked up in surprise. "I was just trying to pass the time until you came back."

I looked around the table. "Oh I see. And you decided to join in on strip poker? Man, you must be _really _bored."

"No, what _I_ was playing was regular good old fashion poker until I was kicking these guys asses and they decided to change the game on me. But now I'm done and we can go." Logan put down his cards and stood up. Everyone was watching.

"What's your hurry? It's just harmless fun right?" I asked around the table with a raised eyebrow. Everyone nodded yes.

"Exactly. Harmless fun. But the funs over for me. Let's go." Logan grabbed my arm and made to leave, but I didn't budge.

"Well if It's just harmless fun, then what's the rush?" I sat down in Logan's seat and picked up his cards. "Who's next?"

"What are you doing?"

"What's it look like? I'm having harmless fun." I laid down my/Logan's hand and looked around the table. Everyone put there cards down, and it looked like I was losing an article of clothing. I notice the guys eyes gleam as they ogled me.

I started to take my shirt off when Logan's arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me up. "Hey!" I protested.

"That's it were leaving. Logan said as he threw me over his shoulder. When he put me back down, it was on a bed in someone's room. It looked like Casey's room.

"What's the problem Logan?"

Logan and I both looked up and saw Casey leaning against the door frame. Logan frowned. "Nothing man. Were just getting ready to leave."

"What's the rush? Your not going to let what happened spoil your night are you? Looks like Veronica was having a good time. Right Veronica?" Casey wanted to know.

"Right. But maybe what we need now is some Veronica and Logan alone time." I said to Casey.

Casey smiled. "Say no more. You too can stay here. Take your time. Logan there's some protection in my side drawer." Then he closed to door.

Logan turned to me and had an animalist look on his face. He growled and pounced on me. All I could do was squeal in surprise as we fell back onto the bed.

XOXOXOXOXO

The next day Logan came over to my house. My father was away on a case and we had to house to ourselves.

After we had breakfast together we got down to business. After Logan and I got 'Busy' last night, he went back out and joined the boys for some 'guy time.' Little did they know but Logan had a tape recorder on him. He caught the whole conversation on tape. He asked them about Shelly Pomproy's party.

Sean and Casey told him how they went to TJ and scored some GHB for the party. Casey confessed to slipping some into Carrie's drink but nothing ever happened. He ended up alone that night. Sean had said he was saving his for something special.

After Logan talked to the guys, he slipped the tape recorder into a plant in between Casey and Sean and left. Were hoping they continued to talk about the party after Logan left.

Sure enough they did. They talked about finding me in the guest bedroom with Beaver. They egged him on and were having fun. Casey said he saw Beav run out of the room a few minutes later and throw up all over the side of the house.

Sean told Casey he circled back around and found me alone passed out on the bed….

Unable to hold it in, I ran to the bathroom and threw up until there was nothing left but dry heaves. There it was. Sean was my rapist. He talked about it in great detail, and it was enough to make me sick. Literally.

Logan held my hair back and rubbed circles on my back as I cried into the toilet. I couldn't believe it. I knew Sean was a jerk, but to go that far and brag about it?

I flushed the toilet and Logan got a wet cloth and gently wiped my face with it. Then he got a plastic cup and filled it for me. After that he carried me into the living room, and sat me down on his lap. I could feel how tense his muscles were, so I clung on tighter. I could feel the rage he was barely able to contain hiding underneath. I knew he wouldn't let me see it, and that the next time he saw Sean, he was going to let that anger out.

"Logan don't." Came out in a raw whisper.

He looked down at me, and I saw that it was costing him to talk as well. "Don't what?" He asked even though he knew what I was thinking.

"Don't do anything to get into trouble. It's not worth it. We can take the tape to the Sheriff's Office and they can handle it. The last thing I need is for you to get arrested."

"I can't promise that Veronica and you know that." Logan replied.

"Then just promise me you don't kill him."

Logan smiles. "That I think I can promise. Though it'll be hard to keep."

I smile and push him down on the couch where I cuddle with him hoping that sleep will come and I can forget about what I just learned. Though I knew that wasn't possible, I still closed my eyes and tried to let thought's of Logan consume me. It helped for a while.

XOXOXOXOXO

For those of you who are Dawson Creek fans, then the poker scene will seem familiar to you. Lol I thank Joey Potter and Pacey Witter for that.


End file.
